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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. rj8o
Nowadays, TV screens and other types of recent technology are extremely popular and can have a significant effect on people. Multiple individuals spend a lot of time in front of the television, as a drawback for people will have less interaction and socialization with others. This essay will outline the effects of watching television on people's lives. No doubt, television is one of the most common forms of entertainment and relaxation for many people. There are numerous effects of watching television in our lives. To commence, people in leisure time are usually sitting in front of their TVs for long hours watching series and movies. They become inactive in housing activities such as cooking, shopping for housing products, cleaning, and dusting. They rely on servants or other sources for fulfilling the daily necessities essentially required in the houses. For example, many adults who are coming after their jobs or studying at colleges usually relax while watching Netflix series, movies on the internet through TV screens available in their rented apartments. So, they do not cook due to shortage of time and depend on delivery services from other commercial kitchens such as cafes and restaurants in their neighborhood. Moreover, most of them prefer to hire maids for housing activities rather than self-dependent on themselves. They want to relax in their leisure time while watching series or surfing over the internet. Hence, adults should involve in extracurricular activities instead of watching screens for long hours in their free time. Furthermore, presently, individuals are becoming isolated while watching Netflix, movies, and browsing on the internet. They are immune to the events around them. They need privacy more rather than getting socializing with their neighbors and society. For instance, youngsters in free-time should involve themselves in other social activities like playing sports, learning music, dancing, and making new friends around their society instead of indulging themselves in lazy activities like playing video games on PCs, watching series or movies on TVs, surfing over the internet through smartphones. Lastly, adults should eradicate laziness from their lives in their free-time and build relationships for remaining socially in society that can be fruitful for them in the future. Hence, adults should stay and develop their focus on different activities instead of watching screens at home. To conclude, although television creates entertainment in our lives, it is significant for people to become more social with other activities in their leisure time.
Nowadays, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of recent technology are
extremely
popular and can have a significant effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Multiple individuals spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, as a drawback for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have less interaction and socialization with others. This essay will outline the effects of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

No doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is one of the most common forms of entertainment and relaxation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are numerous effects of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To commence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are
usually
sitting in front of their TVs for long hours watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. They become inactive in housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as cooking, shopping for housing products, cleaning, and dusting. They rely on servants or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources for fulfilling the daily necessities
essentially
required in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who are coming after their jobs or studying at colleges
usually
relax while watching Netflix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on the internet through TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
available in their rented apartments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they do not cook due to shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and depend on delivery

services from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
commercial kitchens such as
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
and restaurants in their neighborhood.
Moreover
, most of them prefer to hire maids for housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
rather
than self-dependent on themselves. They want to relax in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
or surfing over the internet.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should involve in extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
instead
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
for long hours in their free time.

Furthermore
,
presently
, individuals are becoming isolated while watching Netflix,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, and browsing on the internet. They are immune to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
around them. They need privacy more
rather
than getting socializing with their neighbors and society.
For instance
, youngsters in free-time should involve themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like playing sports, learning music, dancing, and making new friends around their society
instead
of indulging themselves in lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like playing video games on PCs, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
series
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on TVs, surfing over the internet through smartphones.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should eradicate laziness from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in their free-time and build relationships for remaining
socially
in society that can be fruitful for them in the future.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should stay and develop

their focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
instead
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
at home.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
creates entertainment in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become more social with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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