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People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings What are the importance of these celebration Do you think people really spend too much (445077)

People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings What are the importance of these celebration Do you think people really spend too much (445077) RBNP
A growing trend observed in recent times is ostentatious family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. In this essay, I will explain the importance of these family occasions, and why individuals spent more money on these parties. There are several reasons to justify the importance of these two celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. Firstly, such occasions are the cause for celebration as they are the joyful moments of every individual's life. Secondly, meeting with family members, especially on auspicious events days is certain to build familial ties and bonds. For example, relatives and other members of a family take off from their work to enjoy the wedding days. Finally, it is a new beginning or a new phase of a person's life whether it is a birthday party or a wedding of a couple. However, in this era, lavish amounts of money are being spent during these celebrations because weddings and birthdays are a good platform to show off their designer clothes, jewelry, and makeup. In addition, people organize such functions to grab attention on social media platforms. Besides, they want to flaunt their wealth. For example, in India, people spent extravagantly on weddings because it is a family celebration which allows relatives to cherish the special moments in each other lives. Consequently, many families are bounded to spent a huge amount of money due to peer pressure but, all members of the family help to manage such kind of funding for marriages and weddings. To conclude, in my opinion, it is necessary to celebrate birthdays and weddings that allow loved ones to enjoy the parties and make special memories.
A growing trend observed in recent times is ostentatious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
such as birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
occasions, and why individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more money on these parties.

There are several reasons to justify the importance of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
such as birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
.
Firstly
, such occasions are the cause for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
as they are the joyful moments of every individual's life.
Secondly
, meeting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
especially
on auspicious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
days is certain to build familial ties and bonds.
For example
, relatives and other members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
take off from their work to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
days.
Finally
, it is a new beginning or a new phase of a person's life whether it is a birthday party or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
of a couple.

However
, in this era, lavish amounts of money are being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and birthdays are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their designer clothes, jewelry, and makeup.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
organize such functions to grab attention on social media platforms.
Besides
, they want to flaunt their wealth.
For example
, in India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
extravagantly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
relatives to cherish the special moments in each other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are bounded
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
a huge amount of money due to peer pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, all members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to manage such kind of funding for marriages and weddings.

To conclude
, in my opinion, it is necessary to celebrate birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones to enjoy the parties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
special memories.
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IELTS essay People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings What are the importance of these celebration Do you think people really spend too much (445077)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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