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Subject such as arts music drama should be a part of every child s basic education

Subject such as arts music drama should be a part of every child s basic education QLnlX
Arts play an essential role in our lives. When we are mentally depressed, arts give us a hope to live. Therefore, the significance of arts should be taught at school. I will explore my viewpoint to support the presented idea in the following paragraphs. Firstly, children can learn how to appreciate great works of art. When I visited the Louvre museum of art in Paris, I was overwhelmed by its solemness. I was surrounded with great masterpieces ranging from the ancient period to the contemporary era. When I saw works of Leonard da Vinci, I was totally enticed and mesmerized by their beauty. However, not knowing a bit about works of contemporary artists, I felt almost nothing about them. I regretted, then, that I could have enjoyed looking at them with the knowledge to help me interpret, understand, and appreciate them in a proper manner. This experience brings me home to the idea that education about arts are so important that teachers should teach subjects such as arts or music at school. Another reason to support the statement is that arts have the power to relax us. Personally, I often visit museums every weekends. This is because my work is so demanding that I get truly fatigued for it and I need something refreshing during weekends. Therefore, this habit of going to museums is crucial for me, for it makes me refreshed and ready for the coming weekdays. Drawing from this example, arts function as a means to take us away from the reality and we can expose ourselves to the true beauty, healing us to our hearts' content. Teaching children subjects of arts involves teaching children how to escape from the agonizing reality, probably preventing them from committing suicide. From these perspectives, children should get education about arts. Admittedly, children are busy studying other subjects like science and math. However, the importance of arts is no less important and beneficial than those subjects from those reasons above. Therefore, I am convinced that subjects such as art, music and drama should be included in school curriculum.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
play an essential role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When we are mentally depressed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
give us a hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
, the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should
be taught
at school. I will explore my viewpoint to support the presented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn how to appreciate great works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. When I visited the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Louvre museum
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in Paris, I
was overwhelmed
by its solemness. I
was surrounded
with great masterpieces ranging from the ancient period to the contemporary era. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
works of Leonard da Vinci, I was
totally
enticed and mesmerized by their beauty.
However
, not knowing a bit about works of contemporary artists, I felt almost nothing about them. I regretted, then, that I could have enjoyed looking at them with the knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me interpret, understand, and appreciate them
Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper manner
. This experience brings me home to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that education about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that teachers should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
or music at school.

Another reason to support the statement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have the power to relax us.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit museums every weekends. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
demanding that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
truly
fatigued for it and I need something refreshing during weekends.
Therefore
, this habit of going to museums is crucial for me, for it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me refreshed and ready for the coming weekdays. Drawing from this example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
function as a means to take us away from the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reality and
we can expose ourselves to the true beauty, healing us to our hearts' content. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
involves teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to escape from the agonizing reality,
probably
preventing them from committing suicide.

From these perspectives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are busy studying other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like science and math.
However
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is no less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and beneficial than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
from those reasons above.
Therefore
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, music and drama should
be included
in school curriculum.
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IELTS essay Subject such as arts music drama should be a part of every child s basic education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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