Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Sports which depend on violence for their entertainment, such as boxing and wrestling, have no place in a civilized society and should be banned. To what extend would you support or reject this idea?

It is often argued that sports which are based on violence, for example boxing and wrestling, do not belong in a civilized society. The main argument for the previous statement is that violence generates violence, therefore brutal scenes for the purpose of entertainment should be forbidden. I somewhat disagree with this opinion and with the concept of prohibiting these activities. The reason why I think violent sports are not harmful to a society is because they do not encourage violence in real life by themselves. In order for a person to become violent and dangerous to others, there needs to be more than just viewing of aggressive incidents. If that was the case, videogames should be banned and movies which include violent scenes should be prohibited from broadcasting. It is also worth mentioning that psychologists have proposed that watching violent sports helps fans release their own restrained emotions, instead of developing them. It is a way to express built-up anger without the negative effects of violence. Therefore, the problem of violent behavior in society lays on other factors more than it does on sports and exposure to violent content. People who have experienced traumas in the past are likely to be affected by exposures like this. Since there is the possibility of triggering aggressive emotions in some individuals, it is advisable for measures to be taken. First, a limited time of screening per week is the most effective course of action. In addition, family and close friends of sensitive people should advise them against programs with a high level of violence in general. In conclusion, there are plenty of reasons that violent behavior occurs in a society, so aggressive sports should not be forbidden to broadcast. However, other measures must be considered, in order to prevent the possibility of increased violence from the projection of aggressive scenes.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which
are based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
,
for example
boxing and wrestling, do not belong in a civilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The main argument for the previous statement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
generates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
,
therefore
brutal scenes for the purpose of entertainment should
be forbidden
. I somewhat disagree with this opinion and with the concept of prohibiting these activities.

The reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not harmful to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in real life by themselves. In order for a person to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to others, there needs to be more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
viewing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aggressive
incidents. If that was the case,
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames
should
be banned
and movies which include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
scenes should
be prohibited
from broadcasting. It is
also
worth mentioning that psychologists have proposed that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
fans release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
restrained emotions,
instead
of developing them. It is a way to express built-up anger without the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of violence.

Therefore
, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
behavior in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
Did you mean “lies on”?
lays on
other factors more than it does on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
content.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who have experienced traumas in the past are likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by exposures like this. Since there is the possibility of triggering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aggressive
emotions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals, it is advisable for measures to
be taken
.
First
, a limited time of screening per week is the most effective course of action.
In addition
, family and close friends of sensitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should advise them against programs with a high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in general
.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
behavior occurs in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not
be forbidden
to broadcast.
However
, other measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the possibility of increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
from the projection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aggressive
scenes.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Sports which depend on violence for their entertainment, such as boxing and wrestling, have no place in a civilized society and should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts