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sport club need to be improved in no time

sport club need to be improved in no time VVQm
Introduction The purpose of a proposal is to make a request for increasing a sum of money and explain how it will be spent and how it could be increased. What kind is this club and for who The rehabilitating sport club, named Kwata, has been established since twenty eleven year, and it is known for treating people with diseases such as scoliosis and kyphosis. Besides, it not also has assisted many patients with disability but also supported children in the Orphan house Latos by giving them many toys and organizing a great number of birthday parties for free. Current needs and situation Despite its high popularity among our city residents, the financial situation needs to be improved and changed in a short time because housing and medical equipment are required to be renovated, and funds are not enough. Nevertheless, our managers have decided not to raise the price for its service but make it stable for the following two years. However, should the situation be critical, the cost for services must be increased. Suggestions Since it is known that the club has been attended by more than fifty thousand members and currently rehabilitation centre cares for approximately five thousand people, we could ask for a donation in a sum of fifty dollars. This would not only ensure with a great sum of money for equipment but also could make prices stable. On the other hand, members could help with medical equipment by buying what is needed or renovate corpuses. Conclusion The recommendation above would be simple so implement, and might improve the current situation.
Introduction

The purpose of a proposal is to
make
a request for increasing a sum of money and
explain
how it will
be spent
and how it could
be increased
.

What kind is this club and for who

The rehabilitating sport club, named
Kwata
, has
been established
since twenty eleven year, and it
is known
for treating
people
with diseases such as scoliosis and
kyphosis
.
Besides
, it not
also
has assisted
many
patients with disability
but
also
supported children in the Orphan
house
Latos
by giving them
many
toys and organizing a great number of
birthday
parties for free.

Current
needs and situation

Despite its high popularity among our city residents, the financial situation needs to be
improved
and
changed
in a short time
because
housing and medical equipment
are required
to
be renovated
, and funds are not
enough
.
Nevertheless
, our managers have decided not to raise the price for its service
but
make
it stable for the following two years.
However
, should the situation be critical, the cost for services
must
be increased
.

Suggestions

Since it
is known
that the club has
been attended
by more than fifty thousand members and
currently
rehabilitation
centre
cares for approximately five thousand
people
, we could
ask for
a donation in a sum of fifty dollars. This would not
only
ensure with a great sum of money for equipment
but
also
could
make
prices stable.
On the other hand
, members could
help
with medical equipment by buying what
is needed
or renovate corpuses.

Conclusion

The recommendation above would be simple
so
implement, and might
improve
the
current
situation.
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IELTS essay sport club need to be improved in no time

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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