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Someone speaks but don't follow it in reality. Society accepts people with action not on basis of spoken words

Someone speaks but don't follow it in reality. Society accepts people with action not on basis of spoken words pRed3
Society accepts people with action not on basis of spoken words. I completely agree the statement. In this essay I am going to explain the supporting points for the agreed statement. Firstly, society always will judge the people according to their action. They always check the people with their statement whether they are following it or not. For example, Prophet Mohammed became very famous in his country and also all over the world because of his actions. He always used to do, what he said. Secondly, society don't accept the people those who only speak, but they don't do. They think that they are liar. These people used to give only advice to others. But actually they don't follow it in real life. To conclude this, it is always easy for everyone to advice others. Before advising anyone, we need to think once, is it possible for me to follow it in real life. Likewise we can avoid the bad name in the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
accepts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with action not on basis of spoken words. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the statement. In this essay I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the supporting points for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
statement.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'judge'.
always will judge
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
according to their action. They always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their statement whether they are following it or not.
For example
, Prophet Mohammed became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in his country and
also
all over the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his actions. He always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do, what he said.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
don't accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
speak,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't do. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are liar. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advice to others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
actually they don't follow it in real life.

To conclude
this, it is always easy for everyone to advice others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
advising anyone, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
once, is it possible for me to follow it in real life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
we can avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
name in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Someone speaks but don't follow it in reality. Society accepts people with action not on basis of spoken words

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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