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some people who failed at school can be highly successful in their adult life. Discuss why does thsi happen ? and what are the main factors to get a succesful life?

It is often seen that students who are not brilliant at school level becomes successful in their later life. There can be many reasons which add to their failure. This essay will discuss firstly discuss the causes of the failures and later will state the factors for success. At young age children does not know on what to focus and what to leave so their thoughts gets distrupted with many views in normal words there is lack of focus at this age. For example students tries to do lot of classes in a day
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that students who are not brilliant at school level becomes successful in their later life. There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to their failure. This essay will discuss
firstly
discuss the causes of the failures and later will state the factors for success. At young age children does not know on what to focus and what to
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their thoughts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
Possible spelling mistake found.
distrupted
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
views in normal words there is lack of focus at this age.
For example
students
It seems that the correct verb form here is “try”.
tries
to do
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “the lot of” or “a lot of”?
lot of
classes in a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
day

IELTS essay some people who failed at school can be highly successful in their adult life. Discuss why does thsi happen? and what are the main factors to get a succesful life?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
93 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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