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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. 7d2y
In recent years, there were some experiments on children for analyzing the effect of learning a foreign language in childhood. In my concern, the advantages are extremely bold and definitely outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will first indicates the positive effects and then provide some negative consequences. There are several advantages, firstly the brain of kids in primary school is like an empty hard disk and works supremely faster than older children in memorizing. Hence, it is much easier for a person to become bilingual at younger age. Secondly, in this era, the ability to communicate with people all around the world is essential. Thus, if a person learns an international language in primary school, s/he will gain the ability to communicate faster than others. Thirdly, there is an evidence that shows children who learn a foreign language in primary school will perform better in other sciences like mathematics and physics than others. However, learning foreign language early is not free of negative consequences. Learning another language besides native language may confuse children, and they may not learn any of them well enough. Furthermore, childhood is the time when the main personality of a person will be shaped and if all the time of a child is filled with learning then that kid will not have time for thinking and the logical part of the brain will not grow well. To summarize, due to the advantages, it is excellent to learn an international language in primary school and its beneficial effects will outweigh adverse consequences.
In recent years, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experiments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for analyzing the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in childhood. In my concern, the advantages are
extremely
bold and definitely outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will
first
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "indicate"
indicates
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and then provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

There are several advantages,
firstly
the brain of kids in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is like an empty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
disk and works
supremely
faster than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in memorizing.
Hence
, it is much easier for a person to become bilingual at younger age.
Secondly
, in this era, the ability to communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world is essential.
Thus
, if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, s/he will gain the ability to communicate faster than others.
Thirdly
, there is an evidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will perform better in other sciences like mathematics and physics than others.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
early is not free of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
besides
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may confuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and they may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
any of them well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Furthermore
, childhood is the time when the main personality of a person will
be shaped
and if all the time of a child
is filled
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
then that kid will not have time for thinking and the logical part of the brain will not grow well.

To summarize
, due to the advantages, it is excellent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and its beneficial effects will outweigh adverse consequences.
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IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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