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Some people think that promoting a healthy life style is better than treating who are already ill. to what extent do you agree to this thought?

Some people think that promoting a healthy life style is better than treating who are already ill. g58dg
Sport is the main reason for the different changes in modern reality. Some people believe that more important to spend capital on propagation a healthy lifestyle than for people who have some illness. I totally disagree with that statement because of human's rights and unusefulness of opposite suggestion. In this essay, I shall the reasons for the topic further. Firstly, nowadays in the community, all people have the opportunity to get treatment from medicine sphere. It is the fundamental requirement which the government have to satisfy for citizens. Also, the activity as do not give chance for treatment is an unmoral and egoistic. That is why doctors and nurses save individuals' lives every day without break time. For instance, It is impossible that a person will never ill if he lives a healthy behaviour. Every person at least one time get ill during all journey. Secondly, promoting a healthy lifestyle is unuseful. The reason for that is the fact that no one has a limitless life. Every day, many people die due to sudden occasions such as natural disaster, cars collision and so on. For example, the body loves sport, eat only fresh and useful food, however, he has cancer. Nevertheless, that information he can not enjoy life again as past because society made an incorrect decision. To sum up, I believe that spending money on treatment is more necessary than for making a healthy behaviour common. The cause for that is an idea that life is an invaluable thing which a person can not buy or sell. Therefore, everyone has the opportunity to take medical help
Sport is the main reason for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in modern reality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend capital on propagation a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle than for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illness. I
totally
disagree with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human rights"?
human's rights
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unusefulness
of opposite suggestion. In this essay, I shall the reasons for the topic
further
.

Firstly
, nowadays in the community, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treatment from medicine sphere. It is the fundamental requirement which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
satisfy for citizens.
Also
, the activity as do not give chance for treatment is an unmoral and egoistic.
That is
why doctors and nurses save individuals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
every day without break time.
For instance
, It is impossible that a person will never ill if he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Every person at least one time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ill during all journey.

Secondly
, promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle is unuseful. The reason for
that is
the fact that no one has a limitless life. Every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to sudden occasions such as natural disaster, cars collision and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, the body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
sport, eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fresh and useful food,
however
, he has cancer.
Nevertheless
, that information he can not enjoy life again as past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
society made an incorrect decision.

To sum up, I believe that spending money on treatment is more necessary than for making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
common. The cause for
that is
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that life is an invaluable thing which a person can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or sell.
Therefore
, everyone has the opportunity to take medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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IELTS essay Some people think that promoting a healthy life style is better than treating who are already ill.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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