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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v. 2
A significant number of individuals believe that guardian should educate their pupils on how to be good members of society, although, others consider that an educational institute is the most suitable location to absorb such skills. This essay will discuss both the views followed by an opinion. On the one hand, it is believed that parents are the only one who can understand the attitudes of their offspring and may stand up their mischievous manners. Therefore, mothers and fathers can play a key role in setting their children straight when they go off track because children are more likely to listen to their parents as they consider them as heroes and paragons. Children imitate their parents in many aspects and this makes parents the ideal persons to inculcate good ethics and morals to their young buds. For example, a study that was carried out by Yale University revealed that more than 80% of delinquents in Michigan had a lack of parental guidance and surveillance. Teachers are considered the most qualified educators, as they are professional and trained for that purpose. Hence, teaching good manners in schools can be highly effective. Mostly all students listen to their teachers in the classroom and follow discipline during learning practices, thus educating how to be the good members of society can be easily achieved in the school environment. For instance, a recent survey from the School education board has revealed that 70 per cent of students learn good manners in school and remember it for a lifetime. In conclusion, while mentors are professional in teaching thus skills, I believe that parent is more close to their children and they know them more thoroughly than any other individual, therefore they should take responsibility of teaching good member skills of society.
A significant number of individuals believe that guardian should educate their pupils on how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of society, although, others consider that an educational institute is the most suitable location to absorb such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This essay will discuss both the views followed by an opinion.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who can understand the attitudes of their offspring and may stand up their mischievous manners.
Therefore
, mothers and fathers can play a key role in setting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
straight when they go off
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more likely to listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they consider them as heroes and paragons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
imitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
the ideal persons to inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ethics and morals to their young buds.
For example
, a study that
was carried
out by Yale University revealed that more than 80% of delinquents in Michigan had a lack of parental guidance and surveillance.

Teachers
are considered
the most qualified educators, as they are professional and trained for that purpose.
Hence
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can be
highly
effective.
Mostly
all students listen to their teachers in the classroom and follow discipline during learning practices,
thus
educating how to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of society can be
easily
achieved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment.
For instance
, a recent survey from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
education board has revealed that 70 per cent of students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "learns"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'learn' is not always incorrect.)
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and remember it for a lifetime.

In conclusion
, while mentors are professional in teaching
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is more close to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they know them more
thoroughly
than any other individual,
therefore
they should take responsibility of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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