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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.7

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 7
People have different views of how could children be good members of society. To be a helpful grown-up, it takes a lot of time to learn many life skills. In my opinion, it would be a cooperation of both parents and schools. When a child was born, all parents do want him or her to become a good member in the future. Therefore, they have to teach their child some kind of basic knowledge, from very normal work to more important one. Parents become the first teachers. For instance, parents teach their 6-year-old boy how to make his bed when he gets up, clean his plates after meals, sweep or mop the floor when it is dirty and follow the rules. When he becomes older, parents teach him how to behave others nicely. However, children may not understand clearly. Consequently, they need illustration for what parents tell them. Schools are the place where children can learn more skills in their life. Children learn those from every wisdom lesson of teacher, then they have an opportunity to apply what they have learnt in reality. For example, besides the lessons for students in class, schools frequently organize some outdoor activities for them to join. One of the meaningful activities is voluntary work. When the students come to the orphanage, they have some singing or dancing performances to make the abandoned children feel happy, as well as donate their old clothes or books to them. At the end of outdoor lesson, the children can share to each other how well they understand. That is the way how the students learn about humanity from school, which helps them become good members of society in the future. In conclusion, there is a close-knit combination between parents and schools to help the young generation to have a positive thinking and responsibility to society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views of how could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of society. To be a helpful grown-up, it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In my opinion, it would be a cooperation of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and schools.

When a child
was born
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do want him or her to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member in the future.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
teach their child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of basic knowledge, from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
normal work to more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the
first
teachers.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teach their 6-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his bed when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
up, clean his plates after meals, sweep or mop the floor when it is dirty and follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. When he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
older,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teach him how to behave others
nicely
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may not understand
clearly
.
Consequently
, they need illustration for what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them.

Schools are the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
those from every wisdom lesson of teacher, then they have an opportunity to apply what they have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in reality.
For example
,
besides
the lessons for students in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, schools
frequently
organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outdoor activities for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
. One of the meaningful activities is voluntary work. When the students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the orphanage, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
singing or dancing performances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel happy,
as well
as donate their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
clothes or books to them. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of outdoor lesson, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can share to each other how well they understand.
That is
the way how the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about humanity from school, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of society in the future.

In conclusion
, there is a close-knit combination between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and schools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young generation to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thinking and responsibility to society.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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