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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.7

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. 7
We all want to raise children to be decent people. To do this, some opine that the responsibility of teaching moral values lies with parents while others argue that it is an educators’ duty. However, together, I do believe that both parents and teachers have a decisive role to play in this regard. On the one hand, some purport that the foundation of one’s character is the values he attains from his family. They contend that behavioural standards are rooted in cultures and religions which is apparently different in today's multicultural world. Therefore, it is the parent's role to instill valuable ethics in children while teachers should focus on imparting formal education to them. On the other hand, there are those who hold the view that because of today’s parents’ busy lifestyles and demanding jobs, most children have been left home without role models. Consequently, they present themselves in school without knowing about what is polite or respectful and how to control their emotions. So, receiving guidance about expected, social behaviour could be an essential part of their curriculum. Apparently, parents and teachers are the most influential people in children's lives. While children learn about moral principles at home, they learn about the importance of discipline, teamwork, and punctuality at school. Moreover, schools provide opportunities for them to learn how to engage and respect different cultures and religions. In my opinion, in fact, not only school authorities but also schoolmates play an important part in a student’s perspective about common, acceptable moralities. All in all, the argument as to whether teachers or parents should teach moral values to children has been the subject of many debates. In this regard, it is my point of view that the cooperation between school and parents is a key factor in developing adults who will comply with society’s moral standards.
We all want to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be decent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To do this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that the responsibility of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
values lies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
while others argue that it is an educators’ duty.
However
, together, I do believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have a decisive role to play in this regard.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
purport that the foundation of one’s character is the values he attains from his family. They contend that
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
standards
are rooted
in cultures and religions which is
apparently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's multicultural world.
Therefore
, it is the parent's role to instill valuable ethics in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should focus on imparting formal education to them.

On the other hand
, there are those who hold the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
busy lifestyles and demanding jobs, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
home without role models.
Consequently
, they present themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
without knowing about what is polite or respectful and how to control their emotions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, receiving guidance about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
could be an essential part of their curriculum.

Apparently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are the most influential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
principles at home, they learn about the importance of discipline, teamwork, and punctuality at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide opportunities for them to learn how to engage and respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and religions. In my opinion, in fact, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
schoolmates play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in a student’s perspective about common, acceptable moralities.

All in all, the argument
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
values to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has been the subject of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates. In this regard, it is my point of view that the cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is a key factor in developing adults who will comply with society’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
standards.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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