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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v.50

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 50
We have been developing our personality throughout our entire life, yet the crucial time to mould our characteristic could happen at a rather young age. Some believe it is our families that define who we will become while others argue that it is the school’s utmost responsibility to teach us morality and to give us guidance. In my own perception, I am more positive with the former. The family is the first environment that we immersed ourselves in ever since we were born. The behaviour our parents deliver and the value they convey certainly have a colossal impact on our personality. It is also a vital process for a parent to teach their child the righteous perspective toward society at the very beginning. It is like creating a masterpiece on a pure canvas before it is contaminated. For people who believe that school should be the right place to educate students into obtaining the correct attitude of their lives and having the decent morality to become a good member of our society, they put their faith in the teachers. Teachers provide standard expectations that our society has for its members, offering knowledge and ideas with less bias and less possibility of deviation from the student. It is also essential for young children to meet other people, their classmates that are from various backgrounds, in order to help cultivate their ability to cherish and respect diversity. In conclusion, both points of views have their own dispute, yet for me, trying to build a child’s characteristic until they are already studying in schools seems to be a little too slow. Many values could have been buried deep in our mind. Thus, I believe it’s our family that should play the important role for this rather than the school afterwards.
We have been developing our personality throughout our entire life,
yet
the crucial time to
mould
our characteristic could happen at a
rather
young age.
Some
believe it is our families that define who we will become while others argue that it is the
school’s
utmost responsibility to teach us morality and to give us guidance. In my
own
perception, I am more
positive
with the former.

The family is the
first
environment that we immersed ourselves in ever since we
were born
. The
behaviour
our parents deliver and the value they convey
certainly
have a colossal impact on our personality. It is
also
a vital process for a parent to teach their child the righteous perspective toward society at the
very
beginning. It is like creating a masterpiece on a pure canvas
before
it
is contaminated
.

For
people
who believe that
school
should be the right place to educate students into obtaining the correct attitude of their
lives
and having the decent morality to become a
good
member of our society, they put their faith in the teachers. Teachers provide standard expectations that our society has for its members, offering knowledge and
ideas
with less bias and less possibility of deviation from the student. It is
also
essential for young children to
meet
other
people
, their classmates that are from various backgrounds, in order to
help
cultivate their ability to cherish and respect diversity.

In conclusion
, both points of views have their
own
dispute,
yet
for me, trying to build a child’s characteristic until they are already studying in
schools
seems to be a
little
too slow.
Many
values could have
been buried
deep in our mind.
Thus
, I believe it’s our family that should play the
important
role for this
rather
than the
school
afterwards.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 50

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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