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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v.48

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 48
It is considered by some that parents should teach their children about the ways to be good and civilised members of society while others hold the opinion that these values should be taught by the school. However, in my opinion, I believe that parents and school both are equally important to instil moral values, among children, to be a good citizen. On one hand, parents are the first teachers, and home is the first school where children learn about life lessons. Educating children about love, empathy, kindness, and socially acceptable behaviour is a must at home. In addition, children should be taught to help the needy members of the community because parents know their children well. Hence, they can teach their kids about social responsibilities effectively, which should not be ignored. On the other hand, school is the place where children are taught skills on various subjects that help to be self-reliant. When children gain education and various skills in school, it will help them in future to become self-dependent. This will also empower them to contribute towards society using their skills. For example, educated children may help to teach alphabets and help to read and write, to illiterate members of the society. Thus, in my opinion, children should be taught to be socially responsible by parents as well as at school. When children get such education of skills, love, and kindness they can grow to become a helpful member of society. In conclusion, the most effective method to help children to become morally and socially responsible part of a society is to teach them at home and also at school.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the ways to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilised' is British English.
civilised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
while others hold the opinion that these values should
be taught
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
moral values, among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
teachers, and home is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn about life lessons. Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, empathy, kindness, and
socially
acceptable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
at home.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
well.
Hence
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their kids about social responsibilities
effectively
, which should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
on various subjects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to be self-reliant. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain education and various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in future to become self-dependent. This will
also
empower them to contribute towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
alphabets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to read and write, to illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Thus
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
to be
socially
responsible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
such education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, and kindness they can grow to become a helpful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of society.

In conclusion
, the most effective method to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become
morally
and
socially
responsible part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them at home and
also
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 48

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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