Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.24

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 24
There are different opinions about this matter, basically we need to respect it. Somehow, I believe that parents are the first teacher of children. Parents should be the one who teaches their children first about manners. In the first 3 years of a kid, they will easily adapt to the language and attitude of their surrounded environment. Therefore, if a child saw negative act on others, they will do it as well. What children see when they are young, they bring it until they grew up. The school is also a place to learn this, but you will not believe that the teachers will expect that child already knew the most basic manners as of it is taught at home. If a kid grew up rude to others and mostly lying, it is possible that this kid's parent didn't pay attention much on their children growth and personality. I believe that the most important role of being a parent was to be there for their children all the time, to guide them with their decisions, to help them grow as a better person, to discipline them if they make negative acts and to be there to help them mould their personality. In conclusion, it is the responsibility of a mother and father to take care of their children until they become the person they are meant to be. Teachers are the second parent that will guide and teach them to show the right path in life. There will be no other great teacher in this life aside from our parents.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about this matter,
basically
we need to respect it.

Somehow, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should be the one who teaches their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
first
about manners. In the
first
3 years of a kid, they will
easily
adapt to the language and attitude of their surrounded environment.
Therefore
, if a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
act on others, they will do it
as well
. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
when they are young, they bring it until they grew up.

The school is
also
a place to learn this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you will not believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that child already knew the most basic manners as of it
is taught
at home. If a kid grew up rude to others and
mostly
lying, it is possible that this kid's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
didn't pay attention much on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth and personality.

I believe that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
was to be there for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
all the time, to guide them with their decisions, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow as a better person, to discipline them if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
acts and to be there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their personality.

In conclusion
, it is the responsibility of a mother and father to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until they become the person they
are meant
to be.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
that will guide and teach them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the right path in life. There will be no other great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in this life aside from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 24

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts