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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this v.20

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this v. 20
Home and school are the two institutions that impact moral education and virtuous behaviours in children. Lately, some individuals opined that guiding children on how to be good ambassadors of the society should be the sole responsibility of the parents or guardians while others believe that it is solely the onus of the school to do this. In this essay, I will discuss my opinion on these two views. I believe that it should be a joint responsibility of both parents as well as the school to inculcate relevant character in the young ones. On one hand, it is understandable that parents should be responsible for imbibing good moral habits into their wards because they brought them into the world. Parents are the first role models of their offspring and they replicate whatever character traits they see in the parents. Also, children spend a great amount of time with their parents so they have more hours to build up good character patterns in the children. On the other hand, the school can play a crucial role in moulding a child's character. To start with, peer group interactions at school makes a child highly social and he learns a lot of what is wrong or what is right from his fellow students because the level of interaction at school is higher than that of home. In addition, many competitions are held in school to teach a child to accept defeat and to appreciate success; some talks about good manners, well-behaved children and so on are given in school in order to reinforce good social conduct. Lastly, students observe the teachers closely and learn a lot of social value from them. Teachers admonish children for wrong behaviours and praise them for good gestures. In my own opinion, charity begins at home, in other words, the parents or guardians are the first teachers and instructors a child come in contact with, therefore the home should be the primary level of impact while the school should continue to buttress the good teaching children receive from guardians. In conclusion, school is the haven of academic learning, but learning should not be limited to only academic and this is where social learning comes in. Parental instructions are as important as academic teachings and both important learnings are pivotal to instilling good morals in children in order to make them become good members of the society.
Home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are the two institutions that impact moral education and virtuous
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Lately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals opined that guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ambassadors of the society should be the sole responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or guardians while others believe that it is
solely
the onus of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to do this. In this essay, I will discuss my opinion on these two views. I believe that it should be a joint responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to inculcate relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
in the young ones.

On one hand, it is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be responsible for imbibing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
moral habits into their wards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they brought them into the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the
first
role models of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
offspring and
they replicate whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
traits they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a great amount of time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have more hours to build up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
patterns in the children.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can play a crucial role in
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, peer group interactions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a child
highly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
social and
he learns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or what is right from his fellow students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the level of interaction at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is higher than that of home.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
competitions
are held
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to teach a child to accept defeat and to appreciate success;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talks about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners, well-behaved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to reinforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
conduct.
Lastly
, students observe the teachers
closely
and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
value from them. Teachers admonish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and praise them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
gestures.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
at home,
in other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or guardians are the
first
teachers and instructors a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in contact with,
therefore
the home should be the primary level of impact while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should continue to buttress the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive from guardians.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the haven of academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
should not
be limited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic and this is where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in. Parental instructions are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as academic teachings and both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
are pivotal to instilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
morals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of the society.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this v. 20

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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