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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 2
It is believed by some people that teaching good manners to young ones is the responsibility of the parents, while, others argue that it is the teacher’s responsibility to teach learners how to behave with the other members of community. I believe that both parents and professors should jointly share their roles and responsibilities. This essay will discuss both viewpoints. On the one hand, people argue that basic education starts at home. Naturally, one can assume that parents should teach youngster how to behave well with siblings, relatives, neighbors and the whole society. For instance, at my house my mother used to discipline my younger brother whenever he used abusive language, or pick up fights with our cousins. So, by repetitive instructions and minor punishments, parents can foster good manners in their children’s personality from younger age. It is clear so see why this argument has gained support. On the other hands, some advocate that as young learners spend prime time at schools, teachers should build moral values in the next generations of the society. As young students spend a large portion of their time at school, teacher might not only stress upon gaining A+ grade, but also read out traditional stories, which contain moral lessons. In addition, in order to fully utilize this time, schools ought to encourage sport activities among different classes. These extracurricular activities teach them many life lessons, such as how to accept defeat gracefully, and the importance team-work in achieving goal, such as winning. Thus, school plays an important role in building special qualities, such as patience and persistence, in a child’s life. In conclusion, both school and home are important sources of molding young one’s personality and to find his or her place in the society, and behave morally and ethically with others. In my opinion, in order to bring child’s best, both sources ought to compliment the role of each other.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, while, others argue that it is the teacher’s responsibility to teach learners how to behave with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of community. I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and professors should
jointly
share their roles and responsibilities. This essay will discuss both viewpoints.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that basic education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at home.
Naturally
, one can assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach youngster how to behave well with siblings, relatives, neighbors and the whole society.
For instance
, at my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to discipline my younger brother whenever he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
abusive language, or pick up fights with our cousins.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by repetitive instructions and minor punishments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can foster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners in their children’s personality from younger age. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why this argument has gained support.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
learners spend prime time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, teachers should build moral values in the
next
generations of the society. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
students spend a large portion of their time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, teacher might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
upon gaining A+ grade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
read out traditional stories, which contain moral lessons.
In addition
, in order to
fully
utilize this time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to encourage sport activities among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes. These extracurricular activities teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life lessons, such as how to accept defeat
gracefully
, and the importance team-work in achieving goal, such as winning.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in building special qualities, such as patience and persistence, in a child’s life.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and home are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sources of molding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
one’s personality and to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
place in the society, and behave
morally
and
ethically
with others. In my opinion, in order to bring child’s best, both sources ought to compliment the role of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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