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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 15
It's generally considered that teaching small kids to become good citizens is an unwritten duty of parents. But others claim that schools, where there are properly trained teachers and sufficient learning materials, are the best places for children to learn to become future model citizens of every societies. In this essay, I'm going to look at both sides of the coin and give my own opinion at the end. In the defense of the people who think that parents should be the one to teach their kids manners and behaviours, it's been pointed out that it's an unwritten duty for the parents to do so because they are the natural guardians of their sons and daughters as well as they are the people who spend the most time with them. It's certainly agreeable that a father and a mother are the natural protectors of their children and therefore, in theory, should teach their kids to become good citizens so they can better protect themselves and their children when they get older. Another fact is that parents are always the people who spend the most time with their children (especially when the children are still young and dependent). It's been scientifically proven that children will copy their parent's behaviour and how the children will be in the future is greatly impacted by how their parents raise them up. For example, in a household where the parents always eat healthily, there's a higher chance the children will continue to view eating healthily as a vital option when they grow up. Regarding the opinion that school is a better place for children to learn to be good members of the society when they grow up, there are many points supporting this statement such as in schools there are teachers and equipments specialised in teaching and training for the children, or simply because school and education centers were created to be a place to study and to learn. More particularly, it's absolutely true that schools were introduced in the first place to teach young citizens of knowledge and manners. Nowadays it would be crime to prohibit a child from going to school. School is undoubtedly a very important part of our society, since it's the place to nurture and raise future generations. Schools and education centers also have specialised teachers and equipments, which are highly efficient in terms of teaching children to become good citizens. For instance, a teacher who is specialised in an education area will unquestionably teach children much better than the parents who are always occupied with their own jobs, personal issues, relationships, . . . . In conclusion, it's undeniably true that both the parents and the education system play a vital role in a child's grow up stages. In my personal opinion, I think that the 2 places are equally important and children needs to learn from both places in order to become great human beings. Kids cannot just go to school without learning from their parents or the other way around, both have to depends on one another to nurture a future member of the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
generally
considered that teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
is an unwritten duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, where there are
properly
trained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and sufficient learning materials, are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "society"?
societies
. In this essay, I'm going to look at both sides of the coin and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In the defense of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be the one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
manners and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
been pointed
out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
an unwritten duty for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the natural guardians of their sons and daughters
as well
as they are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend the most time with them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
certainly
agreeable that a father and a mother are the natural protectors of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
therefore
, in theory, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can better protect themselves and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older. Another fact is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are always the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend the most time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
(
especially
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
still
young and dependent).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
been
scientifically
proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will copy their parent's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is
greatly
impacted by how their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
raise them up.
For example
, in a household where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always eat
healthily
, there's a higher chance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will continue to view eating
healthily
as a vital option when they grow up.

Regarding the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
when they grow up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points supporting this statement such as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and equipments
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
in teaching and training for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, or
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
centers
were created
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to study and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. More
particularly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
absolutely
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
were introduced
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of knowledge and manners. Nowadays it would be crime to prohibit a child from going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is
undoubtedly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to nurture and raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
centers
also
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and equipments, which are
highly
efficient in terms of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
area will
unquestionably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
much better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are always occupied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
jobs, personal issues, relationships
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
undeniably
true that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system play a vital role in a child's grow up stages. In my personal opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
great human beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
without learning from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or the other way around, both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "depend".
depends
on one another to nurture a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
93Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
518 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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