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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 3
In the early stages of childhood children tend to learn new things and they easily implicate that in the daily life. So, it is the utter most priority to teach them the right values. Few people expect it to be thought by parents only, while the rest, believe that the school is only place to learn moral values. In this essay both the views will be justified. To begin with, children spend most of their time at home with their families and the notice everything happening in the surrounding and definitely they will follow the footsteps of their parents. So, it is most important for the parents to teach their child good values, respecting elders, treating everyone equal and so on. They should also maintain peace at home and lay down examples of a good human being. For instance. if the parents, itself are a good members of society, they can lead the examples for their child and to show them, how they have to be in the society. Moreover, school is the second most important place where the children spends their time. School is equally responsible for the children behaviour. Teachers teaches their students to be in discipline, teach then them the importance of teamwork, and to never discriminate between gender, caste colour, etc, which are most important to be a good member of a society. For example, in school there are strict rules and regulations to be followed due to which children try to be in discipline and precise about their work, which also helps them in future. To recapitulate, in my opinion it is the responsibility of both parents and teachers to teach their children to be a good member of a society.
In the early stages of childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to learn new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they
easily
implicate that in the daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is the utter most priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them the right values. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
it to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, while the rest, believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place to learn moral values. In this essay both the views will
be justified
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their time at home with their families and the notice everything happening in the surrounding and definitely they will follow the footsteps of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
values, respecting elders, treating everyone equal and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They should
also
maintain peace at home and lay down examples of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human being.
For instance
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, itself are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "member"?
members
of society, they can lead the examples for their child and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them, how they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be in the society.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the second most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You should probably use "spend".
spends
their time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is
equally
responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
their students to be in discipline,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
then them the importance of teamwork, and to never discriminate between gender, caste
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, etc, which are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of a society.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
there are strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to
be followed
due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to be in discipline and precise about their work, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

To recapitulate, in my opinion it is the responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of a society.
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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