Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both view and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 1
Undoubtedly, the manner of teaching children is important not only for themselves, but also for the society. Some people consider that parents shall teach children, while others think school is a better place for learn children. I agree with this the fact that parents are the primary teachers and home is the first institution for children. In turn, this essay will discuss the role of teaching children for excellent member of the public. On the one hand, from the birth to preschool children are under parental supervision. However primary tech is caused in the family. For example, children are affected by parental behaviour and this has an important role to play in the membership of children in the nation. Parents are the best people to learn them the concept of niceness and bad. Therefore children spend more time with their parents than at school and this is an extremely important point. On the other hand, parents are not the only influence on children. Teachers at the institute have a serious role to play in the formation of their character. School is a first place in public that they enter. Therefore may compare the academy environment with the family. Here they interact and communicate with their peers and friends and learn how to behaviour and react with them. In conclusion, I believe that both views are significant and it completes the behaviour of children that to be a great part of society. I hope parents and the education system is of great help to develop their skills and interact with others in the world.
Undoubtedly
, the manner of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
shall teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
school is a better place for learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the primary teachers and home is the
first
institution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In turn, this essay will discuss the role of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for excellent member of the public.

On the one hand, from the birth to preschool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are under parental supervision.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
primary tech
is caused
in the family.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by parental
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and this has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in the membership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to learn them the concept of niceness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
than at school and this is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Teachers at the institute have a serious role to play in the formation of their character. School is a
first
place in public that they enter.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
may compare the academy environment with the family. Here they interact and communicate with their peers and friends and learn how to
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and react with them.

In conclusion
, I believe that both views are significant and it completes the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that to be a great part of society. I hope
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the education system is of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and interact with others in the world.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others however believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts