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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern day children has their ways of doing recreational activities. It is in contrast whether playing outside has more benefits than playing computer games at home. It is important for children to have social interactions with their playmates by doing outdoor activities. This will boost their self-esteem, physical, mental and most importantly their social development. Activities like swimming, playing games such as basketball and even just simply running outside will enhance the child's development while enjoying such activities. Moreover, being physically active will gives them to chance of investing to their health due to the fact that this will boost their immunity and blood circulation. Parents doesn't want their children to be ill that is why they preferred to send them outside their house and interact with others. It will cause a great opportunity to meet and socialized with their perks. On the contrary, I think children who preferred to stay at home indulging to some computer games will also enhance their mental development. Nowadays, technology has been a great support for our children to improved their critical and cognitive thinking. It develops their capacity to learn methods on how to playing online with other kids. However, without proper guidance of their parent, this could be crucial as it may lead to overused of gadgets thus can have a bad effect on their health. In conclusion, I definitely agree that children who is used to do a plethora of outdoor fun has higher chances of improving and building ones development rather than a homebody playing online games.
Modern day
children
has their ways of doing recreational
activities
. It is
in contrast
whether
playing
outside has more benefits than
playing
computer
games
at home.

It is
important
for
children
to have social interactions with their playmates by doing outdoor
activities
. This will boost their self-esteem, physical, mental and most
importantly
their social
development
.
Activities
like swimming,
playing
games
such as basketball and even
just
simply
running outside will enhance the child's
development
while enjoying such
activities
.
Moreover
, being
physically
active will gives them to chance of investing to their health due to the fact that this will boost their immunity and blood circulation.
Parents doesn
't want their
children
to be ill
that is
why they preferred to
send
them outside their
house
and interact with others. It will cause a great opportunity to
meet
and socialized with their perks.

On the contrary
, I
think
children
who preferred to stay at home indulging to
some
computer
games
will
also
enhance their mental
development
. Nowadays, technology has been a great support for our
children
to
improved
their critical and cognitive thinking. It develops their capacity to learn methods on how to
playing
online with other kids.
However
, without proper guidance of their parent, this could be crucial as it may lead to overused of gadgets
thus
can have a
bad
effect on their health.

In conclusion
, I definitely
agree
that
children
who
is
used
to do a plethora of outdoor fun has higher chances of improving and building ones
development
rather
than a homebody
playing
online
games
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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