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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.7

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. v. 7
Art is a way of expressing human creative skills and imaginations in visual forms such as painting, sculpture, drawing and photography. Art not only gives the information about our past times, but also connect us with our ancestors. Therefore, I completely disagree with the above statement that government is wasting money on the arts. (54) We had seen in the past that all the governments paid much attention to preserve the arts. In many parts of the world, art was used to reflect the culture of a country and to develop the understanding of people towards their history. (42) Presently, art is considered as national heritage. In many countries, governments are allocating proper funds to the arts and are establishing several organizations to maintain and preserve various arts of their country. For example, Canada, USA, UK and Australia have the art museums that exhibit ancient arts. People who are interested in the arts often came in these historical buildings to see the art galleries. In addition, people in many countries are now treating art as a great form of entertainment. For instance, exhibitions and crafts display several artistic creations like paintings, clay buildings, paper arts, and glass paintings. (99) The recent encouragement of arts from the government has improved the livelihood of thousands of people who actually depend on the arts. Thus, if the government keeps on boosting the arts, then art galleries will surely become a great source of inspirations in the near future. (46) Thus, art is playing a very important role in the lives of people, therefore the government has to ensure that the arts are financed properly in a variety of forms like museums, art galleries and exhibitions. (36)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a way of expressing human creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and imaginations in visual forms such as painting, sculpture, drawing and photography.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives the information about our past times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
connect us with our ancestors.
Therefore
, I completely disagree with the above statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is wasting money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. (54)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
paid much attention to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to reflect the culture of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and to develop the understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards their history. (42)

Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
as national heritage. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are allocating proper funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and are establishing several organizations to maintain and preserve various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, Canada, USA, UK and Australia have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
museums that exhibit ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
are interested
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
came in these historical buildings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a great form of entertainment.
For instance
, exhibitions and crafts display several artistic creations like paintings, clay buildings, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, and glass paintings. (99)

The recent encouragement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the livelihood of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who actually depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on boosting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries will
surely
become a great source of inspirations in the near future. (46)

Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is playing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are financed
properly
in a variety of forms like museums,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries and exhibitions. (36)
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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