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Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.4

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. v. 4
Many people claim that art is not an essential subject and spending money on art is not useful, and it should be directed elsewhere. My own view on the matter is governmental grants should be spent in a more important area, while art as a powerful form of communication should be noticed. Many support the view that some social services such as education, health care, and transportation system are more important for people's welfare. Personally speaking, there is no denying that health is a significant issue in every society, and it is linked to the good structures for healthcare such as hospitals. It is essential that foremost governmental donation should be spent on the healthcare system such as build the hospitals or equipped them. On the other hand, art is worth every penny that is spent on them. Art is linked to the culture and history of countries, and the government is liable to maintain the art to retain the cultures. For instance, most countries such as, the US, UK, Australia, and Canada maintain art in the form of a museum. Many people visit the museum for free, and the cost of retain of the museum is undertaken by the government. In my opinion, it is necessary for government to notice the art as an influent subject through the people. In conclusion, it is crucial that government attention to vital subjects such as health and government funding should be mainly spent on health, furthermore, art as an essential part of every countries culture should be noticed by government.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not an essential subject and spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not useful, and it should
be directed
elsewhere. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view on the matter is governmental grants should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
in a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
area, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a powerful form of communication should
be noticed
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
support the view that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social services such as education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care, and transportation system are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's welfare.
Personally
speaking, there is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is a significant issue in every society, and it
is linked
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
structures for healthcare such as hospitals. It is essential that foremost governmental donation should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on the healthcare system such as build the hospitals or equipped them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is worth every penny
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is linked
to the culture and history of countries, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is liable to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to retain the cultures.
For instance
, most countries such as, the US, UK, Australia, and Canada maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in the form of a museum.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit the museum for free, and the cost of retain of the museum is undertaken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. In my opinion, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to notice the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as an
Possible spelling mistake found.
influent
subject through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it is crucial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
attention to vital subjects such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding should be
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as an essential part of every countries culture should
be noticed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be spent elsewhere. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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