Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money could be spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.3

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money could be spent elsewhere. v. 3
Whether art and artists should receive government funding has always been a topic of discussion. Some people opine that instead of wasting money on arts, the government should allocate its funds for the betterment of other sectors. I cannot agree with this opinion. In my opinion art is as important as any other sector and should receive government support. There are several reasons why the government should spend money on arts. One of the predominant reasons is that art reflects the culture of a country and promotes people’s understanding of their culture and architecture. Secondly, people from outside the country come to see the historical buildings and by maintaining its artistic legacy, a country can encourage tourists to visit again and again. This practice boosts the tourism sector and eventually the economic growth of a country. Thirdly, the art sector employs many people. For example, artists like singers and dancers have huge fan following. Their shows are watched by thousands of people. Such events provide employment to hundreds of people. Without government funding many art forms will die down and that will be a huge loss for the country. However, spending on arts should not be at the expense of other sectors like education, healthcare or defence. Those are certainly more important and hence should receive more funding. It is just that art should not be neglected. To conclude, I believe that the government should distribute its funds evenly to all sectors including arts because every sector has its own contribution towards the development of a country.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and artists should receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding has always been a topic of discussion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
instead
of wasting money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate its funds for the betterment of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and should receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support.

There are several reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. One of the predominant reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
reflects the culture of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
understanding of their culture and architecture.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the historical buildings and by maintaining its artistic legacy, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can encourage tourists to visit again and again. This practice boosts the tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and
eventually
the economic growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
employs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, artists like singers and dancers have huge fan following. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
provide employment to hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
down and that will be a huge loss for the country.

However
, spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not be at the expense of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
like education, healthcare or
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
. Those are
certainly
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
hence
should receive more funding. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should not
be neglected
.

To conclude
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should distribute its funds
evenly
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
contribution towards the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money could be spent elsewhere. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts