Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that families have the most influence on a child's development. However, others think that the influence from outside of home plays a role in children's development. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that families have the most influence on a child's development. However, others think that the influence from outside of home plays a role in children's development. qa8Jd
In modern society, the development of children has been influenced by many factors. Some people hold the idea that their families play an important role in their childhood. On the other hand, some opinions believe that children can be affected by outside factors. From my point of view, I strongly believe that families play a crucial factor in their children's development as well as other factors. First, children spent most of their time being with their family, especially in the first five years. Also, that is the age that they learn everything in the fastest way. As a consequence, the parents should be able to ready to teach them everything that they are interested in. For example, at that age, they want to discover everything around them, like toys, food, television, animals, house, relationship, etc. For that situation, the parents should spend time teaching them about those. In addition, they are easy to imitate the action of their parents and the kindred, so everyone in the family should be ready to play a good action when they are in front of their children. For instance, the parents should not argue when they have their child to see it because it can affect their mind. Also, it can make a bad impression on relationships in their childhood. Generally, families play an important role in the development of children. On the other hand, there are some factors that can also affect children when they go outside. For example, when they are litter bigger, they go to school and meet a lot of people. Good teachers and good friends will be the most influence on their behavior. If their friends do bad things, they can do the same action as their friends because they cannot know whether or not the action is good or bad. They tend to do the same thing with what they see. As far as I am concerned, they should be taught to discern about the different specific situations. In conclusion, in the development of children, families have a strong influence rather than outside factors. In my opinion, both of them also play a crucial role as well as their development base on their age and their situation. On the contrary, the parents should teach their children as soon as possible to prevent that they can learn bad things and lead them to follow the good in their development.
In modern society, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
been influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in their childhood.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. From my point of view, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as well
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent most of their time being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
especially
in the
first
five years.
Also
,
that is
the age that they learn everything in the fastest way. As a consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be able to ready to teach them everything that they
are interested
in.
For example
, at that age, they want to discover everything around them, like toys, food, television, animals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, relationship, etc. For that situation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend time teaching them about those.
In addition
, they are easy to imitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the kindred,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should be ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
when they are in front of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not argue when they have their child to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can affect their mind.
Also
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
impression on relationships in their childhood.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can
also
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they go outside.
For example
, when they are litter bigger, they go to school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
friends will be the most influence on their behavior. If their friends do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things, they can do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
as their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot know
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
. They tend to do the same thing with what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. As far as I
am concerned
, they should
be taught
to discern about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
specific situations.
In conclusion
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have a strong influence
rather
than outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. In my opinion, both of them
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a crucial role
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
base on their age and their situation.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
that they can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things and lead them to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that families have the most influence on a child's development. However, others think that the influence from outside of home plays a role in children's development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that families have the most influence on a child's development. However, others think that the influence from outside of home plays a role in children's development. Discuss both views and give your opinion.