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Some people think music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment.

Some people think music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. jRbOp
No doubt, music is an integral part of everyone's life these days, however, still few people believe that music is merely a source of amusement, although at the same time some people consider music has a vital part in society. In my opinion, music certainly plays an essential role in the society and I will discuss the importance of the music in this essay. Music is not only a medium of getting relaxation from anxiety or stress but also has a significant role in the economy. In the USA, Canada and India only, the music industry comprises 100 billion dollars. The music industry provides enormous job opportunities to youths and other talented people. Furthermore, music has always been a stressbuster for everyone, for example when someone comes home back from the office or a hectic busy day, just listening to a good song of choice can get out of fatigue. Moreover, numerous people like to listen to the music of their choice either in the car while driving or traveling because it is always an immersive experience and by doing so they hardly get exhausted. Almost 60% revenue of the entertainment industry comes from the music portion only. In India, a director or film producer even can not imagine a movie without good music. Ever since the music industry has been revolutionised by creative music modern instruments there has been a huge development and creativity in the creation of music. Nowadays, music distribution is not a vast problem for the music composer as it can be shared through various platforms such as YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. Many people are earning good money by creating their music by themselves and without taking any help from big music houses. For example, Euphoria a young music band is earning its 90% revenue through these social media sources only. In conclusion, music is an important part of society as it plays an imperative role not only in terms of happiness but also economically. Music, hence can not be only a form of entertainment only.
No doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an integral part of everyone's life these days,
however
,
still
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
merely
a source of amusement, although at the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a vital part in society. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
certainly
plays an essential role in the society and I will discuss the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in this essay.

Music is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a medium of getting relaxation from anxiety or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has a significant role in the economy. In the USA, Canada and India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
comprises 100 billion dollars. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
provides enormous job opportunities to youths and other talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has always been a
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressbuster
for everyone,
for example
when someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
home back from the office or a hectic busy day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
listening to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
song of choice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of fatigue.
Moreover
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of their choice either in the car while driving or traveling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is always an immersive experience and by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exhausted.

Almost 60% revenue of the entertainment
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industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the
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music
portion
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only
. In India, a director or film producer even can not imagine a movie without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Ever since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
by creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
modern instruments there has been a huge development and creativity in the creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
distribution is not a vast problem for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
composer as it can
be shared
through various platforms such as YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
are earning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money by creating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by themselves and without taking any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
For example
, Euphoria a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
band is earning its 90% revenue through these social media sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of society as it plays an imperative role not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in terms of happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
economically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
,
hence
can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a form of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
.
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IELTS essay Some people think music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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