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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to set up unpaid community work, instead of just being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

It is not an exaggeration to say that criminals often face imprisonment due to crime. Some people argue that they should be forced to work as volunteers for social causes others opine that they ought to be held in jail. I vehemently accord with the former notion and will discuss my views in upcoming paragraphs. Firstly, undoubtedly, it is a good idea to contribute to unpaid community work by prisoners for changing their lifestyle. To elucidate, they would not spoil their life because they will have an opportunity to learn their mistake and reform themselves. Moreover, negative thoughts would not come in their mind if they do work, as it is well said that an idle mind is the devil's workshop. As a result, they will not harm society. Secondly, this development would be extremely beneficial for the government on account of reducing burden. To elaborate, there is a lot of works are pending due to which the government will have to hire employees but they do not have enough cash to pay workers. Therefore, it is better to make them work without paying a salary instead of confining them to prison. Lastly, the wrongdoer has a bad image in society owing to crimes. So, if they do work in front of the eyes of people, they might change their image and become a good member of society. However, there are heinous crimes which cannot be tolerated such as rape and murder because these kinds of crime are impossible to define themselves. Thus, they should not be allowed Outside without security because they may harm the people. To conclude, although there are myriad of benefits of volunteer services if offenders do in a community like as changing the mindset of the criminals by positive wives, government get advantages in workplaces and also get chance to show their good personality in public but not allowed to roam outside the Prison on of which they may be harmful to the society.
It is not an exaggeration to say that criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face imprisonment due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that they should
be forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as volunteers for social causes others opine that they ought to
be held
in jail. I
vehemently
accord with the former notion and will discuss my views in upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly
,
undoubtedly
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to contribute to unpaid community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by prisoners for changing their lifestyle. To elucidate, they would not spoil their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will have an opportunity to learn their mistake and reform themselves.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in their mind if they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, as it is well said that an idle mind is the devil's workshop.
As a result
, they will not harm society.
Secondly
, this development would be
extremely
beneficial for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
on account of reducing burden. To elaborate, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
works are pending due to which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hire employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cash to pay workers.
Therefore
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without paying a salary
instead
of confining them to prison.

Lastly
, the wrongdoer has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
image in society owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in front of the eyes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their image and become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society.

However
, there are heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which cannot
be tolerated
such as rape and murder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are impossible to define themselves.
Thus
, they should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
Outside without security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may harm the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, although there are myriad of benefits of volunteer services if offenders do in a community like as changing the mindset of the criminals by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
wives,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages in workplaces and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality in public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to roam outside the Prison on of which they may be harmful to the society.
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IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to set up unpaid community work, instead of just being put behind the bars. ?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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