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nowadays young people spend too much ofir free time in shopping malls. Some people think that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree.?

Globalisation, technology and media has hit the world with a greater force than we could have imagined. With these changing times, most young people now prefer spending their leisure times at malls rather than having constructive hobby. Some people believe this can have adverse effect on society, which I agree with. Firstly, most teenagers and youngsters shop either from their pocket money or their parents money, usually to show off. For example, an 18 year old girl will probably buy an expensive dress to brandish in front of her friends or a young man will get an expensive phone to display his wealth. This money if put to better use, like, education for poor or for self improvement can ensure a better society. Secondly, going to shopping malls is not just about buying things anymore. Youngsters often go to these shopping centres to try out a food chain. Doing this regularly can have adverse effects on the health of the individual. However, we are in times when an individual is judged by the external appearance rather than internal, at the first sight. Shopping malls often have better options in terms of discount and quality. Even more, there are marts with lot of positive activities. For example, most book shops in the malls allow the person to read a book in the shop for as many hours one wants to. Overall, youth spending time in shopping malls can have both detrimental and positive effects. Like most of the other changes that hit the society, ultimately it depends on the individual how to take it.
Globalisation
, technology and media has hit the world with a greater force than we could have imagined. With these changing
times
, most young
people
now
prefer spending their leisure
times
at
malls
rather
than having constructive hobby.
Some
people
believe this can have adverse effect on society, which I
agree
with.

Firstly
, most
teenagers
and youngsters shop either from their pocket money or their parents money,
usually
to
show
off.
For example
, an 18 year
old
girl will
probably
buy
an expensive dress to brandish in front of her friends or a young
man
will
get
an expensive phone to display his wealth. This money if put to better
use
, like, education for poor or for
self improvement
can ensure a better society.

Secondly
, going to
shopping
malls
is not
just
about buying things anymore. Youngsters
often
go to these
shopping
centres
to try out a food chain. Doing this
regularly
can have adverse effects on the health of the individual.

However
, we are in
times
when an individual
is judged
by the external appearance
rather
than internal, at the
first
sight.
Shopping
malls
often
have better options in terms of discount and quality. Even more, there are marts with
lot of
positive
activities.
For example
, most book shops in the
malls
allow
the person to read a book in the shop for as
many
hours one wants to.

Overall
, youth spending
time
in
shopping
malls
can have both detrimental and
positive
effects. Like most of the other
changes
that hit the society,
ultimately
it depends on the individual how to take it.
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IELTS essay nowadays young people spend too much ofir free time in shopping malls. Some people think that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. ?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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