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some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

We have witnessed many crimes in modern society. It is argued that all of the lawbreakers should be sent to jail, while others think that there are better alternative choices for lawbreakers to amend themselves. In my opinion, these statements are reasonable. It is certainly true that lawbreakers should be taken into the prison for some reasons. One of the reasons is that this policy can to protect the inhabitants of cities. Lawbreakers usually commit crimes that will bring harms to the others such as stealing and robbing. By sending crime offenders to prisons, it can ensure that the society safety. As a result, citizens subsequently would feel that the society is peaceful and secured. Another reason is that this action reduce the crime rate. By strictly imposing punishment to criminals, it will decrease the level of crime rate because it has deterrent effects. Consequently, people would give up the thought of committing crimes. However, there are opposing voices saying that there are better ways to solve this problem. To begin with, the government should offer jobs to criminals. Re-offenders, in most cases, are struggling with extremely limited income in their lives. Given secured jobs and reasonable payments, they naturally can learn some practical skills such as computer skills. Therefore, they will not risk their liberty because they live like ordinary residents with sufficient income. Apart from this, the government should provide free education to them. Due to leak of educating in the past, perpetrators were unable to judge what was right and wrong things to do. Being significantly educating, they will become good members and will not return to crime.
We have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in modern society. It
is argued
that all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to jail, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are better alternative choices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
to amend themselves. In my opinion, these statements are reasonable.

It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
should
be taken
into the prison for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. One of the reasons is that this policy can to protect the inhabitants of cities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lawbreakers
usually
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that will bring harms to the others such as stealing and robbing. By sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
offenders to prisons, it can ensure that the society safety.
As a result
, citizens
subsequently
would feel that the society is peaceful and secured. Another reason is that this action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. By
strictly
imposing punishment to criminals, it will decrease the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has deterrent effects.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would give up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of committing crimes.

However
, there are opposing voices saying that there are better ways to solve this problem. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should offer jobs to criminals. Re-offenders,
in most cases
, are struggling with
extremely
limited income in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
secured jobs and reasonable payments, they
naturally
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their liberty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like ordinary residents with sufficient income. Apart from this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide free education to them. Due to leak of educating in the past, perpetrators were unable to judge what was right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things to do. Being
significantly
educating, they will become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members and will not return to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.

IELTS essay some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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