Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Money is the reason of happiness and sadness for many. In this fast-paced lifestyle, everyone is working day and night not only to earn bread and butter for the family but also, to provide luxury. To stay happy in life, people need to fulfill their wishes which in turn needs money. Some derive happiness by purchasing clothes while others may find happiness in eating. However, helping the needy is also a source of happiness for many which does not require money. In my passage, I will discuss views of the people and what makes them happy. In today’s time, everyone earns money to fulfill the basic needs and also to pamper themselves. Buying a house is the dream of many especially in India, where people earn all their lives just to provide shelter to their close ones, which in turn needs a hefty amount of money. Besides this, it is a wish of many to travel around the world and explore different cultures and delicacies, and this also has a cost. Moreover, it is seen having money gives confidence and less mental pressure as you can do whatever you feel like without hesitating. On the other hand, being a support for poor does not come with a cost and gives immense happiness to a majority of the people. Visiting an old age home and talking to them, sharing feelings is a pleasure. Many open NGOs with the motive of lending a hand to the people in need. There are NGOS where women showcase their skills like stitching, weaving, embroidery etc. and earn a reasonable amount which gives them satisfaction. In my opinion, to remain happy a lot of money is not required but some is definitely required to fulfill the current and future desires.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is the reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and sadness for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced lifestyle, everyone is working day and night not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
bread and butter for the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, to provide luxury.

To stay happy in life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to fulfill their wishes which in turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
derive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
by purchasing clothes while others may find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in eating.
However
, helping the needy is
also
a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
which does not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my passage, I will discuss views of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s time, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to fulfill the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and
also
to pamper themselves. Buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is the dream of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
especially
in India, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
all their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to provide shelter to their close ones, which in turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a hefty amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Besides
this, it is a wish of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to travel around the world and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and delicacies, and this
also
has a cost.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
gives confidence and less mental pressure as you can do whatever you feel like without hesitating.

On the other hand
, being a support for poor does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a cost and gives immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to a majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Visiting an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age home and talking to them, sharing feelings is a pleasure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
open NGOs with the motive of lending a hand to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. There are NGOS where women showcase their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like stitching, weaving, embroidery etc. and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a reasonable amount which gives them satisfaction.

In my opinion, to remain happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
is definitely required to fulfill the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and future desires.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts