Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IN THE MODERN WORLD IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT IF THEY WANT TO BE. DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION. v.3

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IN THE MODERN WORLD IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT IF THEY WANT TO BE. v. 3
Some people believe that keeping a healthy way of life is not easy especially when we live in globalisation era. Nevertheless, others argue that keeping healthy and maintain fit are possible if people have awareness about their bodies. This essay will discuss both of views. Nowadays, there are some factors which cause health problems. Firstly, consuming unhealthy dishes is the main problem since most of people do not have much time to cook their own food. There are so many restaurants which provide junk food and people think that it can solve their problems. In addition, the development of technology can bring drawback for human. For example, teenagers tend to stay in front of their computers playing games or keeping in touch with their friends all day. These behaviours will cause unhealthy lifestyle as they just sit in the same place and make less movement. Moreover, at the present time, many companies have developed new technologies to help people keeping their healthy lifestyle. For instance, people tend to purchase sport equipment in order to use it in their own home. As the result, even though they do not have much time to go to sport centers, they still can do some exercises in their home. Therefore, having healthy body is not as difficult as we think. To conclude, it is clear that although some technologies alter people lives becoming healthy lives, I extremely believe that it brings more problems of unhealthy lifestyle. However, people's efforts are the biggest factor to gain health and fit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that keeping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
way of life is not easy
especially
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
era.
Nevertheless
, others argue that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and maintain fit are possible if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have awareness about their bodies. This essay will discuss both of views.

Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors which cause health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
, consuming unhealthy dishes is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
since most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have much time to cook their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants which provide junk food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can solve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
In addition
, the development of technology can bring drawback for human.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
tend to stay in front of their computers playing games or keeping in touch with their friends all day. These
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
will cause unhealthy lifestyle as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in the same place and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
less movement.

Moreover
, at the present time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have developed new technologies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
sport equipment in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. As the result,
even though
they do not have much time to go to sport centers, they
still
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercises in their home.
Therefore
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body is not as difficult as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technologies alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I
extremely
believe that it brings more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of unhealthy lifestyle.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's efforts are the biggest factor to gain health and fit.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IN THE MODERN WORLD IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT IF THEY WANT TO BE. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts