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Some people like to work at home while others prefer to work in the office Which do you prefer and why

Some people like to work at home while others prefer to work in the office Which do you prefer and why e58Nx
Undoubtedly, job is one of the integral part of people’s life. We need to work to make a living for our family. It is critical to have the best environment as much as possible in our work place to have the most efficacy. While some people think that working remotely is a wonderful option, I, personally, believe working in work-place have more advantages for employees. In the following essay I will delve into my reasons to substantiate my standpoint. First of all, work-place in which we have access to all resources and materials, encourage us to concentrate on doing our task. Work offices or factories environment provide employees what they need to do their best continuously and appropriately. For example, my father work as a financial manager in a big company and to do his job he needs to access to a huge amount of data and specially to a well-developed computer system with sophisticated software, which I can’t imagine that my father could have access from home. In addition, he needs more supplies like files, printer, and a high-speed internet connection, which makes him to be dependent to his office. As we see it is not possible for my father and many people to work from home. Second of all, work in accompany with other colleagues in a work-place provides employees a golden opportunity to communicate with each other directly. Owing to the importance of face to face communication between coworkers, there is high chance that work-flow progresses in a fast and smooth fashion. For example, in the hospital that I work, as a pharmacy intern, our everyday pharmacy huddle is a good situation to talk about all daily issues around our work condition. Having these short conversations between all pharmacy employees not only helps the flow of information, but also makes a friendly rapport through which the chance of any mis-communication decline dramatically. If we work from home, we will not have this productive meeting which will affect our efficiency. In conclusion, considering all aforementioned details and reasons, I strongly believe that working in office have more pluses rather than working remotely. This is because in work-place we have access to all resources and materials that we need to work efficiently and because we can communicate directly through which we can deal with all issues fast.
Undoubtedly
, job is one of the integral part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living for our family. It is critical to have the best environment as much as possible in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place to have the most efficacy. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
remotely
is a wonderful option, I,
personally
, believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in work-place have more advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. In the following essay I will delve into my reasons to substantiate my standpoint.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, work-place in which we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to all resources and materials, encourage us to concentrate on doing our task.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
offices or factories environment provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to do their best
continuously
and
appropriately
.
For example
, my father
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a financial manager in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and to do his job he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to a huge amount of data and
specially
to a well-developed computer system with sophisticated software, which I can’t imagine that my father could have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
from home.
In addition
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more supplies like files, printer, and a high-speed internet connection, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him to be dependent to his office. As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it is not possible for my father and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.

Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompany by".
accompany with
other colleagues in a work-place provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
a golden opportunity to communicate with each other
directly
. Owing to the importance of face to face communication between coworkers, there is high chance that work-flow progresses in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and smooth fashion.
For example
, in the hospital that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, as a pharmacy intern, our everyday pharmacy huddle is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation to talk about all daily issues around our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
condition. Having these short conversations between all pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the flow of information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a friendly rapport through which the chance of any
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-communication
decline
dramatically
. If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, we will not have this productive meeting which will affect our efficiency.

In conclusion
, considering all aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and reasons, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in office have more pluses
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
remotely
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in work-place we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to all resources and materials that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can communicate
directly
through which we can deal with all issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

IELTS essay Some people like to work at home while others prefer to work in the office Which do you prefer and why

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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