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Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Advertisements have grown dramatically over the past decades provided that it plays an important factor in the society. There is a varied opinion on advertisement among the people. This essay will provide detailed view of positive effect and negative effect along with my side of opinion. In early days advertisement had a major part in obtaining employment opportunities from all around the world. Which helped various organization to hire skilled workers whenever required to boost their production. This boosted the economic growth of the nation and provided the solution for unemployment. There is no substitute other than advertisement to have a positive impact on companies and individuals. Besides the positive role of advertisement, some were pushed to the dark due to fraudulent information provided. Because of this certain community of people stand against the advertisement thinking that the news given is not reliable. Although some precautions are taken to avoid fake news, it is unrealistic to stop publishing. Hence my clear point is, even though there are minor drawbacks it is a proven fact that advertisement paved way for country’s development. Also found a remarkable solution for unemployment and increased company’s profit margin over decades by finding skilled employee. This indicates the advertisement always been in the positive side.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
have grown
dramatically
over the past decades provided that it plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the society. There is a varied opinion on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This essay will provide detailed view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effect and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect along with my side of opinion.

In early
An apostrophe may be missing.
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
had a major part in obtaining employment opportunities from all around the world. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
various organization to hire skilled workers whenever required to boost their production. This boosted the economic growth of the nation and provided the solution for unemployment. There is no substitute other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and individuals.

Besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
were pushed
to the dark due to fraudulent information provided.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this certain community of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stand against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
thinking that the news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is not reliable. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions
are taken
to avoid fake news, it is unrealistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
publishing.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
point is,
even though
there are minor drawbacks it is a proven fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
paved way for country’s development.
Also
found a remarkable solution for unemployment and increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s profit margin over decades by finding skilled employee. This indicates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
always been in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
side.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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