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Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others believe those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others believe those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. QX1K
It is undeniable that employees are the deciding driving force when it comes to the success of an organization. Old people have been hitherto permitted to work at any age in several countries which certainly brings both benefits and drawbacks for the business that they choose to work for. In my estimation, I believe that the advantages of letting old people decide where they would like to work outweigh its disadvantages as the company will be beneficial based on their skills, experiences, and persistence. First and foremost, the manifest advantage is their expertise not merely in their field but also in different required skills in business since some skills increase with age. To exemplify, most mature people working at the age of 50 or above have the ability to handle people diplomatically and spot a problem before it blows up which enables the capability for the company to put an end to the issue in time and prevent negative repercussions from occurring. Besides, these grey workers have great persistence likened to their subsequent generations who tend to switch jobs so frequently. This is likely to be because young people are on their way to finding a suitable career whilst the elderly have already acknowledged what area they would like to work in. Despite being conscientious in working, permitting mature workers to work anywhere they would like to may result in some drawbacks. On the contrary, technology would unquestionably challenge older workers in their occupations. It takes more time for them to learn and understand how new technological devices work and use them fluently. One example is that a vast number of businesses need to work from home and online during the Covid-19 period because most cities are shut down. Therefore, it is difficult for old managers to use and activate such modern websites such as Google Meet or Microsoft room to attend their company’s meetings, which might lead the progress of the conference to be slower because of some ambiguities in technology. On balance, even though old people may not able to adapt to technological changes as fast as their younger counterparts, allowing 50 or 60 year-olds to carry on working at any workplace is more lucrative for the organization in terms of retaining access to some intellectual capital it would otherwise have lost and stabilizing the labor workforce. I believe that government should offer old people incentive to carry on or choose their profession at any age they want.
It is undeniable that employees are the deciding driving force when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the success of an organization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been hitherto permitted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in several countries which
certainly
brings both benefits and drawbacks for the business that they choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for. In my estimation, I believe that the advantages of letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide where they would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outweigh its disadvantages as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will be beneficial based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, experiences, and persistence.

First
and foremost, the manifest advantage is their expertise not
merely
in their field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in business since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
increase with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. To exemplify, most mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50 or above have the ability to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
diplomatically
and spot a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it blows up which enables the capability for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to the issue in time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
repercussions from occurring.
Besides
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
workers have great persistence likened to their subsequent generations who tend to switch jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
frequently
. This is likely to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are on their way to finding a suitable career whilst the elderly have already acknowledged what area they would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in. Despite being conscientious in working, permitting mature workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anywhere they would like to may result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

On the contrary
, technology would
unquestionably
challenge older workers in their occupations. It takes more time for them to learn and understand how new technological devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
fluently
. One example is that a vast number of businesses need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home and online during the Covid-19 period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most cities
are shut
down.
Therefore
, it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
managers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and activate such modern websites such as Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Meet
or Microsoft room to attend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s meetings, which might lead the progress of the conference to be slower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ambiguities in technology.

On balance,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not able to adapt to technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as their younger counterparts, allowing 50 or 60 year-olds to carry on working at any workplace is more lucrative for the organization in terms of retaining access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intellectual capital it would
otherwise
have lost and stabilizing the labor workforce. I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
incentive to carry on or choose their profession at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they want.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others believe those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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