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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school?

It is believed by the majority of individuals that after graduating secondary school people should get a job to gain successful career. However, others including me think that continuing their study and being undergraduate leads to successful career. In the following essay, both opposing views will be analyzed before reaching a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, start working after school may be attractive for several reasons. Adolescents always want to begin earning money to contribute their family budget. That is to say that they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their own house or start a family. As a result, younger generations who decided to find a work than study at university, consequence the progress may undergo quickly. In addition, they can have a chance to experience a practical skill. On the other hand, I believe that it is better to continue their studies at university or collage to achieve a successful career and making huge amount of money. It is because, there are several professions that workers are required academic qualifications. For example, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having relevant degree. If people have no diploma they can only set up their own business otherwise they cannot make a lot of money. As a result, being a doctor not only pays a huge amount of money but also bring more reputations among populations over the world. Therefore, being undergraduate student leads to gain more successful career than start working after school. To conclude, after having analyzed both views, I do believe that teenagers should continue to study at university or collage after school for gaining a successful life.
It
is believed
by the majority of individuals that after
graduating
secondary school
people
should
get
a job to gain
successful
career
.
However
, others including me
think
that continuing their
study
and being undergraduate leads to
successful
career
. In the following essay, both opposing views will
be analyzed
before
reaching a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand,
start
working after school may be attractive for several reasons. Adolescents always want to
begin
earning
money
to contribute their family budget.
That is
to say that they can become independent, and they will be able to afford their
own
house
or
start
a family.
As a result
, younger generations who decided to find a work than
study
at university, consequence the progress may undergo
quickly
.
In addition
, they can have a chance to experience a practical
skill
.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is better to continue their
studies
at university or collage to achieve a
successful
career
and making huge amount of
money
. It is
because
, there are several professions that workers
are required
academic qualifications.
For example
, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having relevant degree. If
people
have no diploma they can
only
set up their
own
business
otherwise
they cannot
make
a lot of
money
.
As a result
, being a doctor not
only
pays a huge amount of
money
but
also
bring more reputations among populations over the world.
Therefore
, being undergraduate student leads to gain more
successful
career
than
start
working after school.

To conclude
, after having analyzed both views, I do believe that
teenagers
should continue to
study
at university or collage after school for gaining a
successful
life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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