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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

One of the most debatable topic of 21st century is self-employment than being an employee. There is no doubt that recent days most of the people became independent and start their own business just to work on their on way rather than depends on others as well as follow their commands. In this essay, I will state some of the disadvantages of being self-employed. There are many reasons why today people want to be self-employed and less interest to work under a company or organization. Firstly, the education level has become changed in recent days than the past. People are no more follow only the traditional education but also are interested in creative line, technical subject. For example, people who are old generation are always focused on being a Doctor or engineer than to choose or even think about being an Artist or business man. Besides, now people give priority to their freedom and want to work on their own way without any pressure which might not be possible sometimes who works for a company. Moreover, nowadays there are several agencies or companies who give training to how to be an entrepreneur. However, being a self-employed has some disadvantages though. Most people start their business without any knowledge or training which makes a great loss as well as the establishment is very uncertain whereas working for a company can give relief financial pressure. In conclusion, while there is too much emphasis to place on being self-employed, working for a company has benefits as well. Though being independent is good but life should be secured which only be possible by being an employee.
One of the most debatable topic of 21st century is self-employment than being an employee. There is no doubt that recent days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their on way
rather
than depends on others
as well
Did you mean "as follows"?
as follow
their commands. In this essay, I will state
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
disadvantages of being self-employed.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be self-employed and less interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or organization.
Firstly
, the education level has become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in recent days than the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are no more follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the traditional education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
are interested
in creative line, technical subject.
For example
,
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people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation are always focused on being a Doctor or engineer than

to choose or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about being an Artist or business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give priority to their freedom and want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way without any pressure which might not be possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
who works for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Moreover
, nowadays there are several agencies or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who give training to how to be an entrepreneur.

However
, being
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a self-employed
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages though. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their business without any knowledge or training which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a great loss
as well
as the establishment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
uncertain whereas working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can give relief financial pressure.

In conclusion
, while there is too much emphasis to place on being self-employed, working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has benefits
as well
. Though being independent is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
life should
be secured
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possible by being an employee.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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