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Some people believe that major corporations and industries should become distant from the urban territories and be settled up in zonal areas. In my view, there are more advantages of shifting to regional areas.

Some people believe that major corporations and industries should become distant from the urban territories and be settled up in zonal areas. In my view, there are more advantages of shifting to regional areas. JV7WD
Some people believe that major corporations and industries should become distant from the urban territories and be settled up in zonal areas. In my view, there are more advantages of shifting to regional areas. On the one hand, there are drawbacks to moving the large companies to town areas. Large companies located in city centers play an essential role in the center. Companies generally demand professional workers. Citizens in the center are more open-minded. For instance, people living in the city do not have much difficulty in managing big businesses as they visit more places and they have the experience to work in great companies. Lack of skills can create a crisis in companies, so it may be appropriate for large companies to run with dwellers. On the other hand, I would argue that these drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits. Firstly, for economic and financial problems in urban areas, it would be more effective if huge companies relocated there. For example, it is very tough to find a job in urban areas and consequently, the people living there have monetary problems and in addition, fewer workplaces are located in urban areas than in city centers. Secondly, a lot of people live in the city centers, this is means the overpopulation, which means that there are more traffic swamps and excessive people in the city centers and to avoid it some residents should work in urban areas if big companies may be transferred there. Finally, city centers are more costly than urban lands, so the company should pay more for the people living in the city, but if it happens on urban lands, the workers can be paid less and this allows the company to invest more. In conclusion, it seems to me that moving the big companies to urban areas is more significant for companies and workers. It made more sense for companies to migrate to urban areas in order to reduce the financial problems of people and companies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that major corporations and industries should become distant from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
territories and
be settled
up in zonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In my view, there are more advantages of shifting to regional areas.

On the one hand, there are drawbacks to moving the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
located in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
play an essential role in the center.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
generally
demand professional workers. Citizens in the center are more open-minded.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the city do not have much difficulty in managing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
businesses as they visit more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
places and
they have the experience to work in great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. Lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can create a crisis in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may be appropriate for large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to run with dwellers.

On the other hand
, I would argue that these drawbacks
are outweighed
by the benefits.
Firstly
, for economic and financial problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, it would be more effective if huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
relocated there.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough to find a job in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living there have monetary problems and
in addition
, fewer workplaces
are located
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
than in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
, this is means the overpopulation, which means that there are more traffic swamps and excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
and to avoid it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
residents should work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may
be transferred
there.
Finally
, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are more costly than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
lands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should pay more for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it happens on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
lands, the workers can
be paid
less and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to invest more.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that moving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is more significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and workers. It made more sense for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that major corporations and industries should become distant from the urban territories and be settled up in zonal areas. In my view, there are more advantages of shifting to regional areas.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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