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Some people believe that law can change human behavior. Do you agree / disgree?

Some people believe that law can change human behavior. Do you agree / disgree? 7apDA
Human behavior is bound with their natural instinct and feelings to others. However, some people think that human behavior can amend by imposing ample of laws and regimes, while others argue that behavior cannot be changed using limited laws and regulations. I am inclined to believe that law only helps to prevent crime and culprit activities in the human hood, but it is agreed to say that it cannot change human thinking and behavior at certain times. The following paragraphs will analyse the inevitable reasons, and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. First of all, laws are assisting/help in preventing criminal activities in every facet of human community. Also, law bonds to/ encourage citizens of a country to act in certain ways by providing a specific list of the rule of codes. For example, a person cannot murder someone because of criminal act 190, in which he has to face death sentence by the power of law. As a result, individuals stop pursuing activities which lead to major and minor offenses, but it cannot change their thoughts. Second of all, human nature and behavior are inborn qualities, these cannot be changed at any stage of life span, but indeed, it can be controlled using various regulations. For example, Darwin has proved by research that humans have been evolving since past many centuries just only because of their acting, behavior and feelings. Thus, it is certainly true that none of law can stop acting individuals according to their desire into the society. In conclusion, the foregoing discussion propounds the view that, human behavior has strict relation with predefined laws into the society, though; it does not change their way of behavior and thinking according to their beliefs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is bound
with their natural instinct and feelings to others.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
can amend by imposing ample of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and regimes, while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
using limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and regulations. I
am inclined
to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime and culprit activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
hood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to say that it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
thinking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
at certain times. The following paragraphs will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the inevitable reasons, and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
are assisting/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in preventing criminal activities in every facet of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
community.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
bonds to/ encourage citizens of a country to act in certain ways by providing a specific list of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of codes.
For example
, a person cannot murder someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of criminal act 190, in which he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face death sentence by the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
As a result
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
pursuing activities which lead to major and minor offenses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their thoughts.

Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
nature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
are inborn qualities, these cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
at any stage of life span,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
indeed
, it can
be controlled
using various regulations.
For example
, Darwin has proved by research that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have been evolving since past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their acting,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and feelings.
Thus
, it is
certainly
true that none of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
acting individuals according to their desire into the society.

In conclusion
, the foregoing discussion propounds the view that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
has strict relation with predefined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
into the society, though; it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and thinking according to their beliefs.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that law can change human behavior. Do you agree / disgree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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