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Some people argue that globalization is harming people more, rather than doing good. However, some others argue for the opposite. Do the advantages of globalization outweigh disadvantages?

Some people argue that globalization is harming people more, rather than doing good. However, some others argue for the opposite. Do the advantages of globalization outweigh disadvantages? qVaXD
There are arguments for both against and in favour of globalization, some say it's good for people while some others argue for the opposite. Though there are severe criticisms against globalization, this essay thinks that the blessings of global integration have become embedded in the modern world, especially with the advent of advanced transport and communication technology. The following paragraphs will discuss in detail how the advantages of globalization outweigh the disadvantages. ​The fast international response is one of the major blessings of global connectivity. Because of the integrated global community, people can easily extend their help all around the world wherever it's needed most. Globalization helps the rich to reach out to the poorest, facilitates volunteers to provide their support to the devastated areas and so on. For example, in January 2020, when Australia was going through burning and killing millions of houses and animals from the worst bushfire ever, people across the world promptly sent damage recovering support, which would have been almost impossible without global engagement. ​However, globalization is not free from blame, for instance, sometimes it can exacerbate the infection rate of contagious diseases. It might happen because of people's intercommunication between affected and non affected regions. But it's also true that inter-governmental cooperation can curb the diseases faster than that of the countries individually. For instance, medically equipped countries spontaneously provided their emergency medical support to the relatively poor nations that became affected by the pandemic COVID-19. ​In conclusion, globalization has brought unprecedented ease of people's global engagement. However, this excessive connection is not free from serious drawback as it might accelerate the infection rate of contagious diseases. Regardless of the drawbacks, the blessings of globalization is obvious because it made the nations a global community that is stronger together to withstand any adversity
There are arguments for both against and in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others argue for the opposite. Though there are severe criticisms against globalization, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the blessings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
integration have become embedded in the modern world,
especially
with the advent of advanced transport and communication technology. The following paragraphs will discuss in detail how the advantages of globalization outweigh the disadvantages.

​The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
international response is one of the major blessings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
connectivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
community,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
extend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all around the world wherever it's needed most. Globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the rich to reach out to the poorest, facilitates volunteers to provide their support to the devastated areas and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, in January 2020, when Australia was going through burning and killing millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and animals from the worst bushfire ever,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the world
promptly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
damage recovering support, which would have been almost impossible without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
engagement.

​
However
, globalization is not free from blame,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can exacerbate the infection rate of contagious diseases. It might happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's intercommunication between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and non
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
regions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it's
also
true that inter-governmental cooperation can curb the diseases faster than that of the countries
individually
.
For instance
,
medically
equipped countries
spontaneously
provided their emergency medical support to the
relatively
poor nations that became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the pandemic COVID-19.

​
In conclusion
, globalization has brought unprecedented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
engagement.
However
, this excessive connection is not free from serious drawback as it might accelerate the infection rate of contagious diseases. Regardless of the drawbacks, the blessings of globalization is obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it made the nations a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
community
that is
stronger together to withstand any
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
adversity
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IELTS essay Some people argue that globalization is harming people more, rather than doing good. However, some others argue for the opposite. Do the advantages of globalization outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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