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Some people agrue that mobile phone invention people less social are you agree or disagree

Some people agrue that mobile phone invention people less social are you agree or disagree GVq2
Now a day, everyday will be invented a new invention due to expansion of technology everywhere. some people argue that mobile phone make people less socially it’s due to spend a more time on a mobile phone. I also agree with this view. I will discuss the points why people less social due to mobile. Firstly. this is modern era of globalisation. Due to development of technology people’s most rely on modern technology for work, communication and social connections by webinar’s as well. Secondly, In mobile phone with time are inbuilt with lots of new features. they are using a lot for communication with other one by call and text messages. these makes less social and don’t need to meet with peoples they communicate usually through mobile phones. moreover, several features like internet, what’s app, games, which are usually played on mobile phone. although now a days these are become more and more famous among peoples to spend more time on mobile phones which also makes less socialise due to killing of time on mobile phones Lastly, mobile phone usually facilitate to communicate with peoples through calls and less required to meet with peoples for work which usually deal through calls. In conclusion, Due to development of technology and addition of more features in mobile phones. peoples are less required to meet as well as spend lot of time mobile phones so they become socialise and spend most of alone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
will
be invented
a new invention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
everywhere.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
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people
argue that mobile
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phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
socially
it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. I will discuss the points why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to mobile.
Firstly
.
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this
is modern era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
most rely on modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for work, communication and social connections by webinar’s
as well
.
Secondly
, In mobile
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phone
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are inbuilt with lots of new features.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are using a lot for communication with other one by call and text messages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
social and don’t need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
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peoples
they communicate
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usually
through mobile
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phones
.
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moreover
, several features like internet, what’s app, games, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
played on mobile
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phone
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
these
are become
more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among
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peoples
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
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due
to killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
Lastly
, mobile
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
facilitate to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
through calls and
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less
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
for work which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
deal through calls.
In conclusion
,
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Due
to development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and addition of more features in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
peoples
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they become
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of alone.
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IELTS essay Some people agrue that mobile phone invention people less social are you agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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