Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some cultures appear to give preference to older people than younger people while other cultures seem to prefer the younger generation. Which do you think is better? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some cultures appear to give preference to older people than younger people while other cultures seem to prefer the younger generation. Which do you think is better? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience. doDlK
Some people adhere to the opinion that the elders obtain of more importance than the young ones. They feel their contribution would be a massive contribution to the emerging generation. However, I completely disagree with this notion because the youth are far more capable of aiding in the development of society. To begin with, some cultures tend to prioritize their senior citizens because of their tremendous life experiences in the past. These experiences can be reflected by their ability to cope with the typical challenges presented by work and personal issues. Moreover, their knowledge and wisdom represent significant features of one's cultural heritage. Without them, the history and ancient traditions of a country will be unidentified. For instances, the majority of the arts and culture industries tend to base their crafts on the history of their culture and traditions; this, in turn, makes way for the next generation to appreciate and preserve their masterpieces. On the contrary, for an economy to cope with the innovative modernization, the role of the youth should be of primary consideration. This is because they tend to be far more adaptable to the technological breakthroughs than the elderly citizens. Moreover, they are fast learners, which make it easier for the various industries to train and develop them into a talented and stable workforce. Additionally, they are on top empowered for volunteer works, which are frequently performed these days because of the recent calamities in the territory. For example, since the old ones are more vulnerable to accidents and communicable diseases, the youth is then sought to join the social and private organizations in the distribution of food and health assistance for the impoverished communities. Hence, without them, our society may not be capable of stepping its feet forward for its betterment. In conclusion, younger individuals are the primary asset in a nation's vision for a prosperous future. Therefore, I stand with the view that the youth should be prioritized over older people due to their vast capabilities in sustaining the country's health and wealth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
adhere to the opinion that the elders obtain of more importance than the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. They feel their contribution would be a massive contribution to the emerging generation.
However
, I completely disagree with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are far more capable of aiding in the development of society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures tend to prioritize their senior citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their tremendous life experiences in the past. These experiences can
be reflected
by their ability to cope with the typical challenges presented by work and personal issues.
Moreover
, their knowledge and wisdom represent significant features of one's cultural heritage. Without them, the history and ancient traditions of a country will
be unidentified
. For instances, the majority of the arts and culture industries tend to base their crafts on the history of their culture and traditions; this, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
way for the
next
generation to appreciate and preserve their masterpieces.

On the contrary
, for an economy to cope with the innovative modernization, the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should be of primary consideration. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to be far more adaptable to the technological breakthroughs than the elderly citizens.
Moreover
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learners, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for the various industries to train and develop them into a talented and stable workforce.
Additionally
, they are on top empowered for volunteer works, which are
frequently
performed these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the recent calamities in the territory.
For example
, since the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are more vulnerable to accidents and communicable diseases, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is then sought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the social and private organizations in the distribution of food and health assistance for the impoverished communities.
Hence
, without them, our society may not be capable of stepping its feet forward for its betterment.

In conclusion
, younger individuals are the primary asset in a nation's vision for a prosperous future.
Therefore
, I stand with the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should
be prioritized
over older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to their vast capabilities in sustaining the country's health and wealth.

IELTS essay Some cultures appear to give preference to older people than younger people while other cultures seem to prefer the younger generation. Which do you think is better? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some cultures appear to give preference to older people than younger people while other cultures seem to prefer the younger generation. Which do you think is better? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience.