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Public celebrations (National days, Festivals) are held in many countries some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and examples according to your knowledge and experience.

Public celebrations (National days, Festivals) are held in many countries some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Give your reasons and examples according to your knowledge and experience. B5G9
National days and festivals are considered the most and biggest events of one country, so most of them spend a lot of money on this occasion. However, some people thought that governments should spend this money on more essential things such as health, education, . . . In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this statement for some reasons. On the one hand, public celebrations bring people lots of advantages. First and foremost, celebrating national days reminds people of historical figures. It’s the time for them to look back in the past, feel grateful for our free world today, and have the motivation to make a better life in the future. Moreover, public celebrations also maintain our social relationship. Every festival like the Tet holiday, people who work far from home can come back and gather with their family, they also stay together to make “Chung” cake, decorate their house and prepare for Tet. Besides, I certainly believe that investing in public celebrations is irreplaceable. Public celebrations can boost the national economy effectively. For example, the DIFF which stands for Danang International Firework Festival has made a great impact on our national economy. It stimulates tourism and increases service fees like hotels. restaurants, transportations, etc. Furthermore, celebrating these events is the best way to protect our culture from disappearing. On these occasions, people often wear their traditional dresses, enjoy our customary food and the young generation will be heard about the root of their culture, they will understand and follow their traditional styles. In conclusion, celebrating national days and festivals is indispensable to our life and cannot be replaced by anything. Governments have to spend money on both public celebrations and other purposes equally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
days and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are considered
the most and biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of one country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of them spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on this occasion.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend this money on more essential things such as health, education
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, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree with this statement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lots of advantages.
First
and foremost, celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
days reminds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of historical figures. It’s the time for them to look back in the past, feel grateful for our free world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, and have the motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better life in the future.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
also
maintain our social relationship. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
like the Tet holiday,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work far from home can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back and gather with their family, they
also
stay together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
“Chung” cake, decorate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and prepare for Tet.

Besides
, I
certainly
believe that investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
is irreplaceable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
can boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
economy
effectively
.
For example
, the DIFF which stands for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danang
International Firework
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festival
has made a great impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
economy. It stimulates tourism and increases service fees like hotels.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
restaurants
, transportations, etc.
Furthermore
, celebrating these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is the best way to protect our culture from disappearing. On these occasions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wear their traditional dresses, enjoy our customary food and the young generation will
be heard
about the root of their culture, they will understand and follow their traditional styles.

In conclusion
, celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
days and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
is indispensable to our life and cannot
be replaced
by anything.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
and other purposes
equally
.
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IELTS essay Public celebrations (National days, Festivals) are held in many countries some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Give your reasons and examples according to your knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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