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Post-retirement, some people relocate to a foreign country or a different region within the nation.

Post-retirement, some people relocate to a foreign country or a different region within the nation. This essay will discuss the possible social and environmental reasons for this shifting and various effects caused by this migration. The decision to shift somewhere else post-working age is prompted / triggered by various social and environmental factors. High standard of living in some countries will attract elderly people. They think that the country which they are planning to move to / migrate to may be more old people friendly. Also, seniors wish to live in a place which has a low crime rate and hence certain areas or countries seem more appealing to them. Sometimes, the climate of the region where they were working might have been harsh and their body compels them to move to a place having mild and pleasant weather conditions. For instance, many people living in snow-clad regions move to places having sunny climate after their retirement. However, there are both benefits and downsides to moving to another place after retirement. After moving to a new place, they have to build their social circle from scratch. It may take a long time to find an acquaintance in a new locality. At times the new country does not match the expectation and hence causes distress in the minds of the newly arrived people. Elderly people frequently face cultural shock on arriving at different regions and they may find it difficult to cope with the new customs. For example, many aged people who migrate to the United States from very orthodox countries often find themselves lost due to cultural and linguistic differences. To sum up, many people move under the assumption that the social or climatic conditions of another country might suit them better. However, after moving they have to build their social circle from scratch, and some of them find it difficult to adapt to the new customs and lifestyle.
Post-retirement,
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some
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people
relocate to a foreign
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country
or a
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different
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region
within the nation. This essay will discuss the possible
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social
and environmental reasons for this shifting and various effects caused by this migration.

The decision to shift somewhere else post-working age
is prompted
/ triggered by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and environmental factors. High standard of living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will attract elderly
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people
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which they are planning to
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move
to / migrate to may be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
friendly.
Also
, seniors wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which has a low crime rate and
hence
certain areas or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
seem more appealing to them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, the climate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
where they were working might have been harsh and their body compels them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
having mild and pleasant weather conditions.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in snow-clad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
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places
having sunny climate after their retirement.

However
, there are both benefits and downsides to moving to another
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place
after retirement. After moving to a
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
circle from scratch. It may take a long time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
an acquaintance in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
locality. At times the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does not match the expectation and
hence
causes distress in the minds of the
newly
arrived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Elderly
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people
frequently
face cultural shock on arriving at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
regions and
they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it difficult to cope with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customs.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who migrate to the United States from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
orthodox
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
themselves lost due to cultural and linguistic differences.

To sum up,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
under the assumption that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
or climatic conditions of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might suit them better.
However
, after moving they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
circle from scratch, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it difficult to adapt to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customs and lifestyle.
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IELTS essay Post-retirement, some people relocate to a foreign country or a different region within the nation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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