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People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

People who are following a bad habitat in their lives and have been unaware irresponsible on their meals must pay more for their remedy.  In my opinion,  I disagree with this statement because many reasons which I will be mention through this essay, and the problem could be happened in terms if the costs be more to pay for those kind of people.  At the same time,  I have other punishment that I believe be useful without damaging or causing any issues in society. First of all, our duty is remedies that people without any condition and any other higher price although their situation on their lives or their habitats, or if they have a wealth health routine lives or not.  We can let these people be aware in their daily routine habits through take apart on a higher a price in their junk food,  cigarettes and on their time that spend it without exercising.  For example,  pay a bell as 30 dollars if not walking 30 minutes daily, so just to encourage people to walk. Secondly, if we higher cost of the treatment maybe will be faced economic issues that cause to poverty level, and terms to be many people pass away because they can not sustain those costs of the treatment of a hospital.  However, the ideas of increase number of the costs of the remedy are for being people responsible on their lives, but this is not a right punishment. In conclusion,  we have to treatment every people in the world instead if they care on not for their lives, because is our duty,  we have been mentioned solution could resolve to be people responsibility on their lives.  And finally we are noticed what can be happened if we had been applying that pay more for remedies
People
 who are following a 
bad
 habitat in their 
lives
 and have been unaware irresponsible on their meals 
must
 pay more for their remedy.  In my opinion,
 
I disagree with this statement 
because
many
 reasons which I will be 
mention
through this essay, and the problem could
be happened
 in terms if the costs be more to pay for
those kind
 of 
people
.  At the same time,
 
I have other punishment that I believe be useful without damaging or causing any issues in society.

First of all
, our duty is remedies that 
people
 without any condition and any other higher price although their situation on their 
lives
 or their habitats, or if they have a wealth health routine 
lives
 or not.  We can 
let
 these 
people
 be aware in their daily routine habits through take apart on a higher a price in their junk food,
 
cigarettes and on their time that spend it without exercising.  For example,
 
pay a bell as 30 dollars if not walking 30 minutes daily,
so
just
to encourage 
people
 to walk.

Secondly
, if 
we higher
 cost of the treatment maybe will
be faced
 economic issues that cause to poverty level, and terms to be 
many
 
people
 pass away 
because
they can not sustain those costs of the treatment of a hospital.  
However
, the 
ideas
 of increase number of the costs of the remedy are for being 
people
 responsible on their 
lives
,
but
this is not a right punishment.

In conclusion,
 
we have to treatment every 
people
 in the world 
instead
if they care on not for their 
lives
,
because
 is our duty,
 
we have
been mentioned
solution could resolve to be 
people
 responsibility on their 
lives
.  And
finally
 we 
are noticed
 what can
be happened
 if we had been applying that pay more for 
remedies
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IELTS essay People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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