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People in some countries believe that pupils who got high school degree should get a job or go to travel before entering the university. This view includes some benefits and some drawbacks. They are young and energetic, so need to get more experiences and social interactions. Also, they can save money when take a job. Although, they may miss some chances to go to the academic environment or forget their educational information. It is believable that job or travel is beneficial for adolescent to get more connection. In the other words, more sociability makes strong background for future occupation. Sociality in job or travel not only bring up personality, but also helps financially students when commence university. For example, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, said in his biography that travelled one year alongside his friend after high school, and this altered his world. On the other hand, eighteen years old is the best opportunity to travel, owing to enough time they have.

People in some countries believe that pupils who got high school degree should get a job or go to travel before entering the university. This view includes some benefits and some drawbacks. They are young and energetic, so need to get more experiences and social interactions. Also, they can save money when take a job. Although, they may miss some chances to go to the academic environment or forget their educational information. It is believable that job or travel is beneficial for adolescent to get more connection. In the other words, more sociability makes strong background for future occupation. Sociality in job or travel not only bring up personality, but also helps financially students when commence university. For example, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, said in his biography that travelled one year alongside his friend after high school, and this altered his world. On the other hand, eighteen years old is the best opportunity to travel, owing to enough time they have. 9L7g3
People in some countries believe that pupils who got high school degree should get a job or go to travel before entering the university. This view includes some benefits and some drawbacks. They are young and energetic, so need to get more experiences and social interactions. Also, they can save money when take a job. Although, they may miss some chances to go to the academic environment or forget their educational information. It is believable that job or travel is beneficial for adolescent to get more connection. In the other words, more sociability makes strong background for future occupation. Sociality in job or travel not only bring up personality, but also helps financially students when commence university. For example, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, said in his biography that travelled one year alongside his friend after high school, and this altered his world. On the other hand, eighteen years old is the best opportunity to travel, owing to enough time they have. It means, they are not so busy or haven't responsibility anymore. While graduate in university, special top ones, are so involved with courses. In fact, Pupils must do research, take exam and try to compete toward other universities. Some other people don't stimulate younger ones to gap between high school and higher education. In the other words, they imagine a year breaktime is more than normal they need. However, split can result to forgetfulness of information and their motivation would decrease. Consequently, student may lose their interest to continue education. In conclusion, traveling and job after school is useful for young people and grow up them to know more about universe, human kind and making good decision for coming years.
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People
in
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some
countries believe that pupils who
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got
high
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school
degree should
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get
a
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job
or go to
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travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the university. This view includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. They are young and energetic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experiences and social interactions.
Also
, they can save money when take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although, they may miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chances to go to the academic environment or forget their educational information.

It is believable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is beneficial for adolescent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more connection. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, more sociability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
strong background for future occupation.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sociality
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
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travel
not
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only
bring up personality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
financially
students when commence university.
For example
, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, said in his biography that travelled one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
alongside his friend after high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and this altered his world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, eighteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is the best opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time they have. It means, they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy or haven't responsibility anymore. While graduate in university, special top ones, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
involved with courses. In fact, Pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do research, take exam and try to compete toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
universities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't stimulate younger ones to gap between high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and higher education. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Possible spelling mistake found.
breaktime
is more than normal they need.
However
, split can result to forgetfulness of information and their motivation would decrease.
Consequently
, student may lose their interest to continue education.

In conclusion
, traveling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is useful for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and grow up them to know more about universe, human kind and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision for coming years.
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IELTS essay People in some countries believe that pupils who got high school degree should get a job or go to travel before entering the university. This view includes some benefits and some drawbacks. They are young and energetic, so need to get more experiences and social interactions. Also, they can save money when take a job. Although, they may miss some chances to go to the academic environment or forget their educational information. It is believable that job or travel is beneficial for adolescent to get more connection. In the other words, more sociability makes strong background for future occupation. Sociality in job or travel not only bring up personality, but also helps financially students when commence university. For example, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, said in his biography that travelled one year alongside his friend after high school, and this altered his world. On the other hand, eighteen years old is the best opportunity to travel, owing to enough time they have.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • People in some countries believe that pupils who got high school degree should get a job or go to travel before entering the university. This view includes some benefits and some drawbacks. They are young and energetic, so need to get more experiences and social interactions. Also, they can save money when take a job. Although, they may miss some chances to go to the academic environment or forget their educational information. It is believable that job or travel is beneficial for adolescent to get more connection. In the other words, more sociability makes strong background for future occupation. Sociality in job or travel not only bring up personality, but also helps financially students when commence university. For example, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, said in his biography that travelled one year alongside his friend after high school, and this altered his world. On the other hand, eighteen years old is the best opportunity to travel, owing to enough time they have.