Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree? People gain more happinessfrom their jobs than their social life.

People gain more happinessfrom their jobs than their social life. YLm5N
There is no doubt that nowadays, seeking happiness is the most crucial goal for every individual. In this regard, the most critical question that arises is whether they can find it in their jobs or social life. Although some people believe that everyone can gain happiness from everyday life, others, including me, hold this view that work is the best option to improve satisfaction, because people are happy with their achievements, and they have colleagues who know us in terms of weaknesses and strengths. The first and foremost reason that people can achieve happiness is their jobs is that they can flourish their abilities at work. No matter how many times they fail in their projects, they would learn from them and try to do best. The more they attain accomplishment in their jobs, the more they feel a sense of satisfaction, which is a special feeling for them. No one could understand the emotion people achieving in their work. Take my personal experience as an example. When I started my job in a private company in which I had tried to get the position a lot, I encountered many difficulties with my co-workers and my manager. So, I put all my efforts into enhancing my acceptance among them. I needed to be considered as an essential part of the company. I struggled with a lot of problems during my job. As time went on, I could fulfill many significant tasks, which made my manager trust me more. It accompanied a high salary. As a result, I was able to achieve success in my job, which brought me many rewards and happiness. The other equally important reason is the fact that people have much spent time in their work; thus, they would be engaged with their colleagues more than ordinary people. Through this, they explore our weaknesses and strengthen more than others. Therefore, they can provide us some precious advice which is crucial for a prosperous life. As I mentiontioned in the previous paragraph, I could display my competence to my colleagues, and they became helpful in many tough situations I faced. At that time, I figured out that they were a valuable investment in my life, and I could count on them. This reason and example lead us that there is a strong relation between jobs and people work there with a sense of happiness. In conclusion, I think that people can get happiness and satisfaction in their work. This is because not only can they thrive in their jobs, and they gather rewards and achievements, but also they can make a strong relationship with their co-workers, which provides them more solutions for their problems.
There is no doubt that nowadays, seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is the most crucial goal for every individual. In this regard, the most critical question that arises is whether they can find it in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that everyone can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
from everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others, including me, hold this view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the best option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
satisfaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happy with their achievements, and they have colleagues who know us in terms of weaknesses and strengths.

The
first
and foremost reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is that they can flourish their abilities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. No matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
they fail in their projects, they would learn from them and try to do best. The more they attain accomplishment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, the more they feel a sense of satisfaction, which is a special feeling for them. No one could understand the emotion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieving in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Take my personal experience as an example. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in which I had tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the position a lot, I encountered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties with my co-workers and my manager.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I put all my efforts into enhancing my acceptance among them. I needed to
be considered
as an essential part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I struggled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
went on, I could fulfill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant tasks, which made my manager trust me more. It accompanied a high salary.
As a result
, I was able to achieve success in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which brought me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rewards and happiness.

The other
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have much spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
;
thus
, they would
be engaged
with their colleagues more than ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Through this, they explore our weaknesses and strengthen more than others.
Therefore
, they can provide us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious advice which is crucial for a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As I
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentiontioned
in the previous paragraph, I could display my competence to my colleagues, and they became helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tough situations I faced. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I figured out that they were a valuable investment in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and I could count on them. This reason and example lead us that there is a strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there with a sense of happiness.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and satisfaction in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they thrive in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, and they gather rewards and achievements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a strong relationship with their co-workers, which provides them more solutions for their problems.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People gain more happinessfrom their jobs than their social life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    tpo 53 high taxes for unhealthy products
    The material discusses the concept of imposing high taxes on cigarettes and other unhealthy behaviors. While the reading states many social benefits for this approach, the listening challenges all these benefits. First, the author mentions that these taxes can discourage people from unhealthy behav...
  • 6band
    universities should spend more money on salaries of university professors
    In the last three decades, the quality of education has become a common trend. Having said that, some people believe that in order to enhance the level of education universities should allocate more fund on salaries of their porfessors. Nevertheless, there is a substantial body of evidence claims th...
  • 6band
    tpo 51 elephants behaviors
    The matreial discusses elephants' behaviors. While the reading claims that elephants have specific behaviors, the listening challenges this and states that elephants are fascinating but there is a misunderstanding of elephants' behaviors. first, the author mentions that old elephants are aware that...
  • 6band
    solutions to prevent birds from being injured by window glass
    The material discusses possible solutions that businesses can use to prvent injuries to birds. While the reading mentions three solutions of this problem, the listening challenges all these solutions and states that they are not effective to stop birds being injuried. First, the writer posits that ...
  • 6band
    the pterosaurs capable of powered flight
    The reading and the listening are about the ability of pterosaurs to fly. While, the author feels that pterosaurs were not capable of powered flight, the lecturer challenges the claims made by the reading and states the pterosaurs may have the ability for a powered flight. First, the reading mentio...
  • 6band
    The reading and the lecture give information about a reasons that lead to Mary Rose, an English wasrship, to sank suddenly while leading attack on the french during the battle of Solent.
    The reading and the lecture give information about a reasons that lead to Mary Rose, an English wasrship, to sank suddenly while leading attack on the french during the battle of Solent. While the reading suggests three theories to explain why Mery Rose sank, the lecture refutes all the theories ill...





Get more results for topic:
  • Do you agree or disagree? People gain more happinessfrom their jobs than their social life.