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Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. xN69
It is often said that an individual’s behavior is presumed and is link to his hereditary elements, however, it is fore-determined that the natural tendency cannot be changed. I personally not agreeing with the said statement as attitude changes with experience. This essay shall describe how the character changes due to environment as well as lifetime experience. Inherent personalities certainly influence a child. Everyone is born with certain hereditary characteristics. The genes transmit from generation to generation and they do play a role in shaping the personality and appearance of the child. But our personalities may get vary due to our nearby environment. For an example, a child born to an unlettered and unmannered couple may not be similar, he might be literate and well mannered due to his surrounding territory. In another way, lifetime experiences have a greater influence on the personality of an individual. A person learns a lot from his whole life experience. For instance, a child may be an introvert in his earlier age, but as he moved into a hostel in his teenage, he get transformed into a more social person. This was because the hostel life required more interactions with others. Moreover the progress of an individual depends upon his own hard work. The child of a doctor need not be a doctor. To conclude, the inborn characteristics have some influence on an individual’s personality and development. However, in my opinion, it is mainly the outlook and appearance that are acquired, and not the personality. The lifetime situations have a major influence on our ability to cope with our circumstances and succeed in life.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
behavior
is presumed
and is link to his hereditary elements,
however
, it is fore-determined that the natural tendency cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. I
personally
not agreeing with the said statement as attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with experience. This essay shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how the character
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
due to environment
as well
as lifetime experience.

Inherent personalities
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Everyone
is born
with certain hereditary characteristics. The genes transmit from generation to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
generation and
they do play a role in shaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and appearance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
our personalities may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vary due to our nearby environment. For an example, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
born to an unlettered and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unmannered
couple may not be similar, he might be literate and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well mannered
due to his surrounding territory.

In another way, lifetime experiences have a greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. A person learns a lot from his whole life experience.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may be an introvert in his earlier age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into a hostel in his teenage, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
transformed into a more social person. This was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the hostel life required more interactions with others.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the progress of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
depends upon his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
of a doctor need not be a doctor.

To conclude
, the inborn characteristics have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and development.
However
, in my opinion, it is
mainly
the outlook and appearance that
are acquired
, and not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
. The lifetime situations have a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on our ability to cope with our circumstances and succeed in life.
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IELTS essay Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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