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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?fe ec

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? fe ec kY6je
Improvement in medical services leads people to live healthy and long life. Like other things this also have pros & cons. Increase in the age of people means the population which means more burden on Country’s economic and natural wealth. As in the improvement in medical services, there are inventions of new techniques and discoveries of new techniques to detect and fight diseases. Enhancement in the knowledge about human body open doors to the related fields of health care. Now there are specialise studies and branches for different human parts, like Neurology in the science for brain and its functions. Earlier death rate in high among new born babies specificly in developing nations but after the improvement in health care facilities this rate reduces. Almost two decades back a maximum life is 60 years and now with the development in heath care sector it goes up to 70 years. The advantage of low death rate and healthy population means more experienced and healthy work force for a nation. Growth of healthy and skilled people leads to an economic growth. But with high life expectancy there in an increase in the population which ultimately increase the exploitation of resources.
Improvement in medical services leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and long life. Like other things this
also
have pros & cons. Increase in the age of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
means the population which means more burden on Country’s economic and natural wealth.

As in the improvement in medical services, there are inventions of new techniques and discoveries of new techniques to detect and fight diseases. Enhancement in the knowledge about human body open doors to the related fields of health care.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
there are
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialise' is British English.
specialise
studies and branches for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
human parts, like Neurology in the science for brain and its functions. Earlier death rate in high among new born babies
Possible spelling mistake found.
specificly
in developing nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the improvement in health care facilities this rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
.

Almost two decades back a maximum life is 60 years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with the development in heath care sector it goes up to 70 years. The advantage of low death rate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
population means more experienced and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
work force for a nation. Growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
leads to an economic growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with high life expectancy there in an increase in the population which
ultimately
increase the exploitation of resources.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? fe ec

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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