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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? 6Eo0
Nowadays, in the technological era, with the innovation of medical equipments and discovery of drugs for various life threatning diseases has significantly surged the duration of humans life in many countries. Indeed, its a beneficial progress as people with long life can surve the nation for longer duration and also enlighten the young generation with their valuable life experiences. To begin with, in the past few decades the scientist had done remarkable work in the field of medical research and development which eventually reduced the mortality rate by treating harmful diseases. Such achievement has resutled an extended life for older generation who are pivotal in the growth and development of the country. For example, Israel is the smallest country with very less population had developed very rapidly since its foundation. People in this country recorded to work even at the age of 80 years which they point their key of such dramatic success over the years. Moreover, elder people are the best source of gathering information and cognizant in any field of work. However, certainly there is some negative impacts of improved life expectancy, as in the recent year, many organization has related it to skyrocketing unemployment. For instance, if a person occupy certain position in the office for longer period of time there will be very few job vaccancies for the young aspirants which consequently become the hindrance in securing prosperous career. In conclusion, although there is few drawbacks of people living longer and healthy, the services they have to offer is enormous and such benefits are enough to outway the disadvantages.
Nowadays, in the technological era, with the innovation of medical equipments and discovery of drugs for various
life
threatning
diseases has
significantly
surged the duration of humans
life
in
many
countries
.
Indeed
,
its
a beneficial progress
as
people
with long
life
can
surve
the nation for longer duration and
also
enlighten the young generation with their valuable
life
experiences.

To
begin
with, in the past few decades the scientist had done remarkable work in the field of medical research and development which
eventually
reduced
the mortality rate by treating harmful diseases. Such achievement has
resutled
an extended
life
for older generation who are pivotal in the growth and development of the
country
.
For example
, Israel is the smallest
country
with
very
less population had developed
very
rapidly
since its foundation.
People
in this
country
recorded to work even at the age of 80 years which they point their key of such dramatic success over the years.
Moreover
, elder
people
are the best source of gathering information and cognizant in any field of work.

However
,
certainly
there is
some
negative
impacts of
improved
life
expectancy, as in the recent year,
many organization
has related it to skyrocketing unemployment.
For instance
, if a person occupy certain position in the office for longer period of time there will be
very
few job
vaccancies
for the young aspirants which
consequently
become the hindrance in securing prosperous career.

In conclusion
, although
there is few drawbacks
of
people
living longer and healthy, the services they
have to
offer is enormous and such benefits are
enough
to
outway
the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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