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Nowadays we communicate less with our family members To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples

Nowadays we communicate less with our family members with this statement Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples QLKrL
Family ties are often strengthened by communication. Although it is a vital part of maintaining relationships, in this dispensation, there is reduced communication within bloodlines. I align my thought completely with this assertion as being true considering the effect of recent technology on members of a household and the resultant fast pace of life. There are plethora of reasons to think siblings no longer spend interactive time together, one of the most prominent is probably the influence of technology such as social network media. Every member of the family this days is busy conversing on social network media such as WhatsApp, Twitter or Facebook or even surfing the internet and to the extent that they forget their immediate environment, thus ignoring their own blood relations. To illustrate, in a 2019 survey by the Society for Family Health in Nigeria, there is a reported case of discord in family ties because siblings no longer keep effective and frequent communication. More so, we live in a fast-paced world and this makes people to focus so much on meeting the rising needs of the time. In fact, the work schedule of many makes it unsuitable to make out time for family, thus obstructing the good time they would have had together to converse and know each other better. This is exemplified by a research done by students of the Department of Sociology, University of Abuja, in which many respondents confessed to getting too engrossed with work life and abandoning their homes. Surprisingly, some even end up not returning to the house because of too many commitments. To conclude, despite the importance of communication in the family, turn of events currently gives rise to decline in interaction between family members and I agree to this as a result of technological advancement and its effect as well as the busy schedule maintained by most persons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
ties are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
strengthened by communication. Although it is a vital part of maintaining relationships, in this dispensation, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
communication within bloodlines. I align my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
completely with this assertion as being true considering the effect of recent technology on members of a household and the resultant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life.

There are plethora of reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
siblings no longer spend interactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together, one of the most prominent is
probably
the influence of technology such as social network media. Every member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
is busy conversing on social network media such as WhatsApp, Twitter or Facebook or even surfing the internet and to the extent that they forget their immediate environment,
thus
ignoring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
blood relations. To illustrate, in a 2019 survey by the Society for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
Health in Nigeria, there is a reported case of discord in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
siblings no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
effective and frequent communication.

More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to focus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much on meeting the rising needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In fact, the work schedule of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
unsuitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
thus
obstructing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they would have had together to converse and know each other better. This
is exemplified
by a research done by students of the Department of Sociology, University of Abuja, in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respondents confessed to getting too engrossed with work life and abandoning their homes.
Surprisingly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up not returning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commitments.

To conclude
, despite the importance of communication in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, turn of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
currently
gives rise to decline in interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this
as a result
of technological advancement and its effect
as well
as the busy schedule maintained by most persons.
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IELTS essay Nowadays we communicate less with our family members with this statement Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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